Vibrating Questions

Today was one of those days that no parenting class can prepare you for.  It started as such a nice, quiet evening.  That is always when they attack.  Just when you think that there is peace and harmony in the house, one of them throws you curve ball.

I have always tried to keep an open line of communication with both girls.  Normally, it is cool.  Sometimes it is tedious.  Sometimes dramatic.  Sometimes funny.  Most of the time¸ our conversations are rated G or PG13 at best.  And then, Brittany entered puberty.

I am not a terribly conservative parent.  My kids learned about life and death at an early age.  They watched my sister have boyfriends parade in and out of her life.  They recently watched me re-enter the dating world after their father passed away.  Now, they are watching her go through pregnancy.  We have talked about girl things, the changes that they are going through, boys, the normal pre-pubescent things that are on most tween girls’ minds.

So what leaves me, this not so terribly conservative mom speechless?  Tonight, Britt had to talk to me, alone.  Normally, alone means at bedtime.  However, tonight that was not the case.  Apparently the topic was weighing heavy on her mind, because out of nowhere she blurted out, “Oh fine, I will just ask you now.  Mom, what’s a vibrator?”

A VIBRATOR?!  She is twelve!  I did not know about what a vibrator was until I was like twenty.   What do I do? I did what any respectable mother would do and excused myself to the bathroom.  Moments later, there she was again.  When I tried to tell her that I would explain it to her later in life, she was not satisfied.  So, I did what I did with most of the hard to talk about topics and put it as simply as I could.  I simply said, “It is a sex toy.”

Unfortunately, this was not sufficient.  So, I elaborated.  This flustered her, much to my amusement.  She agreed that she did not need to know after all.  Satisfied, I began to leave the room only to be faced with one more question, “Have you ever used one?”  OMG, how do I answer that?

I lied, of course.  Don’t judge me.


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