18
Jan
12

Vibrating Questions

Today was one of those days that no parenting class can prepare you for.  It started as such a nice, quiet evening.  That is always when they attack.  Just when you think that there is peace and harmony in the house, one of them throws you curve ball.

I have always tried to keep an open line of communication with both girls.  Normally, it is cool.  Sometimes it is tedious.  Sometimes dramatic.  Sometimes funny.  Most of the time¸ our conversations are rated G or PG13 at best.  And then, Brittany entered puberty.

I am not a terribly conservative parent.  My kids learned about life and death at an early age.  They watched my sister have boyfriends parade in and out of her life.  They recently watched me re-enter the dating world after their father passed away.  Now, they are watching her go through pregnancy.  We have talked about girl things, the changes that they are going through, boys, the normal pre-pubescent things that are on most tween girls’ minds.

So what leaves me, this not so terribly conservative mom speechless?  Tonight, Britt had to talk to me, alone.  Normally, alone means at bedtime.  However, tonight that was not the case.  Apparently the topic was weighing heavy on her mind, because out of nowhere she blurted out, “Oh fine, I will just ask you now.  Mom, what’s a vibrator?”

A VIBRATOR?!  She is twelve!  I did not know about what a vibrator was until I was like twenty.   What do I do? I did what any respectable mother would do and excused myself to the bathroom.  Moments later, there she was again.  When I tried to tell her that I would explain it to her later in life, she was not satisfied.  So, I did what I did with most of the hard to talk about topics and put it as simply as I could.  I simply said, “It is a sex toy.”

Unfortunately, this was not sufficient.  So, I elaborated.  This flustered her, much to my amusement.  She agreed that she did not need to know after all.  Satisfied, I began to leave the room only to be faced with one more question, “Have you ever used one?”  OMG, how do I answer that?

I lied, of course.  Don’t judge me.

Advertisements

0 Responses to “Vibrating Questions”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Twitter Updates

  • Say "mancave" one more time. Coworkers are plucking my nerves. 4 days ago
  • This morning's coworker calls: fussing at the man at the garage and yelling at his kid. Another beautiful day in the neighborhood. 4 days ago
  • It makes me so sad to see the hate that still exists. 6 days ago
  • RT @MaxineWaters: Don't forget, Trump offered to pay legal fees for those who attacked protesters at his rallies. Will he be making that sa… 6 days ago
  • Interested to see how this week plays out. So ready for new adventures on a few fronts. 6 days ago

%d bloggers like this: