Out of the Sorrow

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.  -Eleanor Roosevelt

It is hard for me to believe but five years ago this week my life was turned upside down.  I became a widow.  I had become estranged from my husband prior to that morning.  But nothing can prepare you for the knock on the door.  There is not a single book out there that can guide you through explaining to your children why their father is not coming back.

In many ways, I was very lucky.  Like I mentioned previously, I had become estranged from my husband prior to his death.  I was not waiting for him to come home.  My children were not expecting him to tuck them in that night.

It was never easy.  Honestly, the first year is still a blur.  I was numb from the pain and focused on protecting my children from the scary world that we live in.  But each day, the pain became a little less.  Eventually, I realized that I could not run away.

My children gave me the strength to continue moving forward, even if it did take me a bit to get started.  Five years later, we are doing well.  We have a home, a dog, and a sense of security that I once thought was impossible to obtain.  My children are doing great in school, are involved in activities, and have friends.  I cannot begin to express how thankful I am that I have my children; I honestly do not know that I could have ever survived the grieving process alone.

I know that everything happens for a reason.  I would never in a million years have wished to become a widow five years ago or for my children to lose their father.  However, out of the sorrow came an much progress and strength.  For that, I am thankful.


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