What Will Your Child Remember?

My children lost their father at a young age. In a lot of ways, I have always looked at their being young when he passed as somewhat of a blessing. Kids are resilient and my kids are unbelievably strong; I thought they would be able to handle the story of his death better after when they were older.

Now, they are starting to ask questions. I do my best to answer them honestly. Unfortunately, some nights are a lot easier than others; tonight was one of the more difficult ones.

My teen started the conversation, as usual. Today, she and her friends had been talking on the bus about their fathers and the conversation weighed heavy on her mind.

My daughter said there was one thing that she and her friends all have one thing in common; their dads didn’t love them. One father was abusive, one was in jail, and others had various stories to share. And then there was hers; her father chose alcohol, drugs, and made countless bad decisions. Eventually, they caught up with him.

It is impossible to explain addiction to a child. To explain how he could choose drugs over being a parent. To a child, the world is black and white. There is only right and wrong. Either they are loved or they are not. No matter how much I tried to defend him and reassure her that he loved her despite his bad decisions, she could only see the actions and decisions that lead to his demise.

I would love to be able to say that time heals all wounds. The fact is, some wounds cannot be healed; nothing will bring him back. He cannot explain his actions or reassure her that she was loved. I can only remind her of the good times and the many things we have to be thankful for.

Parents, make sure your children know they are loved. No matter how many times you tell them, tell them again. If you make a mistake, apologize. Get help if you need it. Make every minute count. Take pictures. Make memories. We never know when our time here will end; make sure your children will remember you fondly and know that you loved them.


2 Responses to “What Will Your Child Remember?”

  1. 1 sortaginger
    December 6, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    I am sorry y’all had a difficult night. Your kids are lucky to have you there for them!

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