Hurt Butts and Named Boobs

My kids fell playing in the snow this weekend.   They fell a lot.  Pretty much every time I looked out into the backyard one of them was floundering around on the snowy ground.  They both came in cold and hurting.  It was not a huge surprise that they were feeling it today.

My tween is not a complainer.  Well, she is, but not when it comes to her aches and pains.  My teen, on the other hand, loves the dramatics.  I cannot tell you how many times today that I have heard the phrase, “My butt hurts.”

Tonight, at bedtime, we were talking and, of course, the talk turned to her behind.  She was trying to tell me where it hurt.  It was her tailbone, but the conversation could not stop there.

I was trying to joke with her since she was determined that her butt was broken.  I said, “Well, it does have a crack in it.”

Apparently, that was enough to get her thinking because she responded with, “Yeah.  Shouldn’t it be two butts instead of just one butt since there are two cheeks?  You could call them Butt One and Butt Two or Cheek One and Cheek Two, or maybe Lefty and Righty.”

I really didn’t know what to say.  I was too busy laughing at her.

Then, she continued, “Well, not Lefty and Righty; those are my boobs.  Or they are Bonnie and Clyde.”

With that, I told her that my butt cheeks and boobs do not have names and that she needed to go to sleep.  I left the room shaking my head.  I guess hearing her butt hurts isn’t quite as bad as I thought.


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