Archive for June, 2013


An Exercise in Dysfunction


Right around Mother’s Day, the gym down the street had a special running with a reasonable initiation fee.  I decided to go ahead and give it a try.  I figured that I could go after the kids were settled now that they are older.

Besides being close to me, the gym is close to my Work Buddy (W.B.).  She had been going on and off, but not really committed either.  We talked and decided to meet to work out.  Just knowing she is there is enough to make me go (yes, I am a bit codependent).  Then, my brother started going, but only when he could get in on W.B’s membership (I am not the only one with dependency issues).

So, we have been going for over a month now.  My brother eventually got his own membership, so he can go whenever which has been good with coordinating schedules.  We all have things come up but I have generally gone at least three times a week.

Talking to W.B. earlier this week as we were walking the treadmill, she confessed she pushes herself harder when we are there together.  So, my going makes her work harder.  Funny thing there, because if I want to stop and she is still walking, I will keep walking.  So, I work harder because she is working harder.

Last night, however was the one that took the cake.  I had decided early on in the day that I was not going to the gym.  I had too much to do.  W.B was actually pretty cool and didn’t pressure me too much.  I went home and was doing my thing when in walked my brother who wanted to go to the gym.  When I informed him of my plan not to go, he gave me this look of disappointment and said, “Ugh, really?!”  Just his look of disappointment was enough for me to stop what I was doing to go to the gym.

As I changed my clothes, I sent W.B. a text telling her that I would be joining her after all and I went on my merry way.  When W.B. got there, she informed me that my text woke her up.  She was actually going to skip, but knowing that I was there waiting got her moving.

We all had a good workout last night thanks to our incredibly codependent gym relationship.  I guess we should all look into what malfunctions make us react to one another this way, but we can save that exploration for later.  All that matters for now is that we are moving, dysfunctional, but moving; maybe one day we can be skinny and dysfunctional together.


Staycation Planning

Despite my good intentions to have a kick butt summer, and the fact today is actually the first day of summer, my kids’ summer vacation is speeding by!  Really, they are okay with it.  They have had trips, camps, and fun while I worked the days away.

It really seems like my burn out and need for a summer vacation really takes hold in the afternoon.  I hit my slump and start hating life.  I daydream of other places to be and I am just unproductive.  Case and point, I am typing this at 2:40pm at work.  Shh, don’t tell.

So, I finally bit the bullet and marked my vacation on the calendar.  The week after next, I am taking a week.  I will still do some work checking in periodically, but I will have freedom!  Unfortunately, money is tight, as always.  Chances are, we will stay close to home.  But I am pretty excited.

This afternoon, I am trying to think of awesome things to do while I am off of work.  I am sure that there will be laying by the pool.  I have coupons for putt-putt.  I figure we will have to do a little shopping-very early for back to school, but while we have the time I should take advantage.  I am considering tubing, but not crazy about doing it without other adults so that may need to wait for a weekend.

I would really like to have some fun things planned; what are some of your favorite things to do this time of year?


Vacation House Blues

Usually, I stay pretty grounded.  I try to live within my means and set obtainable goals for myself.  I feel like I am in a pretty good place right now, I still live paycheck to paycheck, but I have a little saved and my debt is not out of control, so I allowed myself to dream a little.

I want a house in the country.

This might sound a little crazy to some, but I want a vacation home.  I want somewhere that I can totally disconnect from the world.  Ultimately, I want to retire to the country, so, eventually, the house could become my permanent residence.

Initially, I was looking for a little piece of land in a gated community in the country.  I figured I could pay off the land, and build later.  I was sad to find that the community had a zillion restrictions and putting a well and septic system would cost me an arm and a leg.  I decided to keep looking despite the fact I could buy the land outright.

Then I found it.  A house I loved.  It was close enough to town for us to walk to events, but far enough away to disconnect.  The kids were on board and I was in love.  It was being sold below market value.  I was able to talk to man down to taking even less.  I was confident that it was going to be mine.  I even started buying things for the house.

Then, I talked to a friend that is in banking.  An equity loan was out thanks to the shitty market.  I considered my options and pressed forward planning to do an overall refinance using the appraisal value.  I spoke to my bank that holds my current mortgage and found that was not an option either.  The market has killed all my chances of using my current house to get the capital I need.  Another conventional mortgage is out of the question due to the amount of work that needs to be done on the house.

Needless to say, I have been beside myself with grief.  I am disgusted with the market and with my own financial situation.  I cannot believe how out of the loop I was regarding the market.  I hate that I let myself get so excited.

Luckily, a few days have passed.  I have decided to continue looking and find a house, or land, that I can get a loan for.  If it takes me a while so be it.  I will just continue to work on paying down my debt and saving for when it comes along.  And as for the things I already purchased, well, when I finally do get my little home away from home, it will have some great accessories ready to go on in.


The Verbal Divide

Recently, I had a talk with a friend about someone that had applied for a job.  The person was from Georgia and the position was in California.  They felt the accent would deter customers; personally, at that time, I thought the accent was warm and welcoming.  I could not imagine it having a negative effect on anyone.

I guess that day I was feeling more warm and fuzzy than today.

I just had a message from someone in South Carolina.  Obviously, the girl was young.  But the pronunciation of every word made me cringe.  She sounded uneducated which was most likely not the case since the message was for me at work.  It was to the point that I do not care to call the girl back because I can only compare what I imagine the call being to nails on a chalkboard.

Don’t get me wrong; some days, I really dislike the Northerner’s accents as well.  I find them to be bitchy and often feel like I am being talked down to when dealing with them-especially when dealing with older individuals.

Really, I don’t believe I have an accent; although, I get comments from the Northerners telling me otherwise.  I hope that I am teaching my children to speak eloquently enough to where they are not irritating to individuals from other parts of the country.  I try to help them with pronunciation, to teach them not to talk over someone else, and not to use slang when dealing with people other than their close friends/family.  I do not think we sound like uneducated bumpkins despite being from the South ourselves.  If we do, someone help me out and let me know so that I can fix it!


Whatever Happened To….

Yes, I am still alive.  Some of you may know this from following me on twitter, but even there it appears I am barely breathing.  What can I say?  Life happens.

This is the first Saturday I have had in a while where I am home, in my pajamas, and able to write.  Frankly life has been a bit crazy.  Still is, really, but I figured I would give anyone wondering whatever happened to that crazy OrneryDame an update.

So, what has been going on?

The school year finished.  Normally, I would not be thrilled with this; I like structure, but my kids really needed a break.  I did too, really.  Spring brought around a ton of activity for the kids.  We had school plays, debates, musical performances, standardized testing, and just tons of tween/teenage drama to end out the year.  Throw on top of that my volunteering to help with organizing the graduation events for the fifth graders and it was enough to drive a girl insane.

Work picked up.  This is actually a very good thing, but I have had some drama there, too.  You cannot please everyone all of the time.  If I could just live by these words, life would be easier, but it is not my nature.

Otherwise, things are going pretty well.  I started a new diet which is really more of a lifestyle change and I feel a lot better so far.  A friend suggested that I try going Primal.  I have been on the diet for about a month and have lost around 7 lbs.  I also, finally, joined the gym.  I have found I really enjoy going.  I have a few friends that go as well and knowing they will be there makes it a little easier to swallow.  I have consistently gone two to five times a week.

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