Archive for September, 2013

26
Sep
13

The Cratemaster

I really do not have anything against being a Stay at Home Mother and I do believe that it needs to be acknowledged on a resume.  However, save the fluff for other areas; otherwise you will end up cracking up the recipient which is exactly what happened to me today as I was looking through resumes for a new position we have available at work.  Here is what the resume said:

2008- Present
Stay at Home Mother and Childcare Giver
· Provide around the clock care, love and attention to my beautiful son.
· Provide day care, love and attention to others’ beautiful children in my home.

Not terrible; I know.  But still, as a mom, I know life aint always beautiful.  Add to that tending to other people’s kids too-gag!  I had a good laugh at the conversation this poor resume sparked; below are the highlights of my instant messaging conversation with Work Buddy.  Just ignore the capitalization and grammatical errors….

OrneryD: so where do the ugly kids go?
WB: i think all kids are beautiful?
WB: or the pen in her backyard?
WB: the ugly kids get crates
OrneryD: hahaha
Ornery D: she also…Provide around the clock care, love and attention to my beautiful son.  (WB did not have the resume to look at)
OrneryD: he has obviously not hit puberty
OrneryD: cause he wont be beautiful for long
WB: omg
OrneryD: mouthy little asses
OrneryD: all of them
WB: he’s 30
WB: living with mama
OrneryD: lmao
WB: she just can’t quite cut the strings
OrneryD: he pushes the ugly kids into the crates
WB: lol
WB: he’s the “cratemaster”
WB: there’s a special place in hell for us, i hope you know
WB it’s the fun place where all the cool kids go, but i’m just sayin

Thank you, applicant for making my day a little more enjoyable.  Unfortunately, I won’t be calling you for an interview.  Not because I could not use your rosy outlook, but because I can call bullshit and you had nothing I was looking for that was listed in the job description.  But thanks again for the chuckle.

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