Breaking Down

I generally like the chaos that engulfs my existence. I really do. I thrive when I have a lot of stuff going on, so I am generally pretty happy with our crazy schedules. Eventually, though, it does catch up with me.

Really, life is good. Work is going alright. I am starting a new side business which will allow me to have some fun and make some extra money. The semester is almost over. The kids both have a lot of good stuff going on. Of course not everything is fabulous, I have my own stress; I am struggling a bit financially and trying to make adjustments. My household has some chaos due to changes taking place. I also have some stress that is not my own; I have been trying to help a family member that has been in the hospital.

Like I said, crap catches up with me eventually. Friday, I was irritated. I had plans. I planned on a few things. Nothing worked out. I rolled with the punches and did end up having an alright night, but I did not get the break I was hoping for. I figured I would get it on Saturday; no sweat.
Saturday, my kids had other plans. I thought I would just sneak out and visit my relative in the hospital. Then, I could have a little time to myself and finish shopping for my teen’s birthday. I had it all figured out. But the kids wanted to go with me to the hospital. No big deal. I still figured I could do the rest of the stuff I wanted. Nope. They wanted to go with me. The teen especially. She had been stood up for other plans and was very dramatic about how she just wanted to get out. Blah, blah, blah.

I didn’t feel like fighting. They got their way. Then they got to see their mother break down. It was not a terrible break down. Just some tears. I tried to explain why I was upset. I just needed a break. I had planned to use my break to get stuff for the teen. The very one that pitched the fit that sent me over the edge. My tears brought them to tears. It was not pretty.

I decompressed a bit when we finally got home, but there was work to be done. We were having company yesterday for the teen’s birthday. I jumped into the tasks at hand and remained on high alert trying to get stuff accomplished until the last person left yesterday. Then, it was time to get ready for another crazy week in paradise.

So, here I am. It is Monday and I am still frazzled. I am alright. Seriously, no need to put me in a padded room just yet. I just need to get out of this rut. I need a break. I need some fun in my life. I need something to look forward to. That is where I am right now; it is time to reevaluate and incorporate some fun. I need some goals to work towards that will make me happy.


4 Responses to “Breaking Down”

  1. October 14, 2014 at 3:14 am

    No matter how successful we are at juggling responsibilities, there’s nothing wrong with looking for some fun too. If life is only about what we need to do and there’s never any time for the things we want to do, it’s pretty dull and frustrating.

  2. October 15, 2014 at 12:23 am

    Fun is a must!! Go and find it and let me know when you do! 😀

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