Posts Tagged ‘daughter

24
May
17

Don’t Blink

We are coming up on the end of the school year and while I am thrilled to get a break from waking up my beastly teenagers daily for the inevitable fight over what they are trying to leave the house in, I am a little sad.

It hit me Monday. We had our annual band banquet. It was my oldest’s fourth since she started marching in 8th grade. For most of the kids she started marching with, it was their last. Her friends are leaving-moving onto college, military, or whatever real world activity their heart desires. It was bittersweet. I am so proud of all the kids and have grown ridiculously attached to a handful of parents that have become my friends over the last few years. We have bonded over games, competitions, parades, and the gazillion volunteer activities that we tirelessly participate in for our kiddos. We are coming up fast on the end of a major chapter.

This time next year, it will be my kid that is preparing the leave the nest. That kid that just started to drive alone in January. That kid that I had to teach how to put gas in her tank. The kid that has to be told periodically to take her clothes downstairs to get washed. The girl that procrastinates on every single project. The kid that is one of my favorite people in the world….

Over the next couple of months, we are going to go visit the two schools which appear to be the best option for going away to school. We have fourteen months until she spreads her wings. There is a lot of planning and prepping that will need to take place.

It seems like only yesterday that I was sending her off to preschool. Now, we are looking seriously at colleges and preparing for senior year. Don’t blink, people. They do not stay little long.

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23
Nov
16

Things Nana Says

I used to love following the Facebook page “Shit my Dad Says” and I often post stupid things my kids say on my own. But really, I love the crap my grandmother tells my teenage daughters. I would share them on Facebook, but family members would tell her and I want to keep her happy.

My grandmother is fabulous. She has helped me raise the girls from day one and has easily been their second parent. As the girls have gotten older and more vocal with their own opinions, so has she. It is kind of hilarious for me and is, at times, infuriating for my kids. I realized a while back that my grandmother is partially doing things just to instigate and she has since admitted this to me. Regardless, it is funny to sit back and get the texts from my kids.

Below are today’s messages I have received from the 14 year old…

  • Nana- you can get me a coffee cup filled with-
  • Me- candy?
  • Nana-money
  • Nana(telling me about bra shopping)- I got two bras for 7 dollars! So don’t get me bras for Christmas

Do you have a grandma or other family member that tells you funny stuff? I think after a certain age you just don’t care anymore. I am looking forward to being that many years old….

09
Nov
16

Words Hurt

Sunday afternoon, my younger daughter was invited to go to the local trampoline park with a friend. The girls have been friends for a long time and I was glad to have them hang out as I really do like this particular friend.

Up until this point, I have only had the opportunity to deal with the girl’s father as her parents are divorced. This outing was to be under the mother’s watch. Before leaving, my daughter said that she had been warned by her friend not to discuss politics and that her friend had told her mother not to bring the subject up. I thought it was a little odd, but let it go. As always, I made sure my daughter had sufficient funds for the outing and left to run some errands.

When I returned home, my daughter was still there. The woman was almost an hour late picking her up.

A couple of hours later, my daughter returned. She adamantly stated that she would never do anything with the woman again. Upon some probing I was able to get a few issues out of her:

The woman did not have change and wanted to purchase a locker. My daughter paid for the locker and upon putting her own belongings in the locker, the woman snarled her face.

After they played for some time, the trio wanted drinks. My daughter’s friend said they would just buy the drink since she paid for the locker. Instead of doing so, the mother pulled the daughter aside, but not out of hearing distance and said she would NOT buy my daughter a drink. My daughter had to go back to the locker room and retrieve her own money. She purchased herself a big blue slurpee and made her daughter get water.

Then, the woman started talking politics. My daughter tried to politely change the subject and the woman pressed the issue. Apparently, she really pressed the issue and my daughter finally had to say she did not want to talk about it. To change the topic, the woman started talking about how great her job was and how much money she made.

On the way back to my house, they stopped and grabbed dinner-the mother and daughter did. They did not ask my daughter if she wanted anything which was a little rude but whatever. She proceeded to tell her daughter that she had to get a salad even though it was her “cheat day” because she did not want her getting any fatter. The mom got a burger with an extra patty and sides.

My daughter was completely floored as she told me about everything that happened. Not only was she appalled at the way she was treated by an adult but she was more upset over the way the woman treated her own daughter making issue about her weight and such.

The next day at school, the girl apologized for her mother’s behavior and repaid my daughter out of her own money which was totally not necessary. She said she was sorry if her mother insulted her and my daughter was taken back because while she had been rude, it was not insulting. With that being the case, my daughter asked what she meant and the girl said she was talking about the comments that the woman made about our house.  I guess it was not up to her standards because I need to trim the hedges and I have a board that needs replaced on the porch.

There is just so much wrong with the situation that it makes my blood boil. First, don’t be ugly to my kid. I am not entirely sure why there was a chip on the woman’s shoulder from the get go, but you don’t treat kids like that period. Second, I don’t care how big your kid is, you do not shame them. You definitely do not shame them in front of their peers. Frankly, maybe if you were seriously worried about your kid’s size you would skip the fast food period, but whatever. Acting like that is what leads girls to sneak food and then purge later. It damages their spirit.

While I probably should not be as offended as I am over the woman’s comments and actions, I am pissed. As I said before, I have never met this woman. For the years I have known her daughter, I have never laid eyes on her at a school function. She has never been in the car pool lane in front of or behind me. I do not know what their situation is, but I do know that she is not there. I guess taking her kid to do fun stuff and bragging about money is her way of making herself feel better.

My house might not be the nicest on my block, but it is mine just like everything else that we have. I am the ONLY parent my girls have and it has been that way for ten years now. Things like replacing that board on the front porch gets put on the back burner so that I can pay for field trips or name brand shoes for my kids to fit in with the rest. Yeah, my hedges need trimmed, but put that off. Instead, I decided to take my last free weekend to take my girls camping because we had been going nonstop since July with marching band. Yeah, I am that involved parent at EVERY event, or as close to it as I can manage while working full time building my career, not just a job, and going to school full time to better myself. I do not have the luxury of being that fair weather, fun parent but I try to let my kids have a normal childhood and you can bet that if I am inviting someone else’s kid somewhere that I am going to ask if they want a drink or need something to eat when I order for myself and my own kids. Regardless of how much or how little money I have, I will treat everyone that is in my presence the same. I am the ONLY parent my girls have and it has been that way for ten years now. Things like replacing that board get put on the back burner so that I can pay for field trips or name brand shoes for my kids to fit in with the rest. I cannot always give them everything, but I try to give them some of the things they want.

I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I seem to stay that way, but I do it because I want more for my kids. To hear such crappy things hurts because I do try hard.

People really need to think before they speak.

07
Oct
16

A Quick Ornery Update

Two weeks have passed since my last blog; not a lot has been happening in my world. I started talking to the guy I have seen on again and off again over the years. Maybe I am a bit insane to fool with it since they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, but I have this crazy little part of me that needs to ride it out and see what happens. He has been a good distraction. I like the idea of us. Always have, hence the one again off again for years.

In keeping with the “What random guys have entered my world” topic, I was highly amused last weekend when a guy slipped me his number at the end of the night. I later found out he was 26. I feel like age should only be a number, but I am really struggling with the idea of seeing someone that much younger. Granted, he is not the 22 year old that asked me to come over earlier this week, but still, the age difference is an issue. Funny how I do not mind a guy ten years older, but one ten years younger is a hang up. Regardless, dude has asked me out twice now and I have declined because of my crazy life. I need to either say yes and give it a try or cut the dude loose. Time is ticking (at least in my own head).

Otherwise, life is okay. I am totally overwhelmed with school. There is only two more weeks this round of classes which is awesome, but these classes are killing me with papers. I feel like I am barely staying afloat with their workloads. I have officially registered for spring classes and get to apply for graduation in January!

Football/marching band season continues. Tonight’s game is looking soggy-stupid Matthew. I may sit it out. Kind of hoping that tomorrow’s competition gets cancelled so I can focus on school and housework for the day.

My best friend found a new home! We get to move her on Sunday. Hoping with her getting reestablished that we can get some routine going. I need a gym buddy again.

My oldest turns 17 next week. The festivities are apparently going to be all week long. I am feeling very old and poor. Homegirl has expensive tastes.

Well, that is a quick Ornery update. Hopefully, there is something good on the horizon. Fingers crossed!

31
Aug
16

Independent Baby

I will never claim to be a great parent, but I try hard and have not killed either of them yet, so I think I am winning. As the girls have gotten older, I have come to appreciate their independence and the freedom that comes with having teenagers. That being said, I really do try to be a good parent and present as much as humanly possible.

With the new school year, however, we have new challenges with my being present. My younger daughter has a zero period class meaning she has to be at school over an hour before her sister and it is her music class, so she is transporting her instrument. Being nice, I have been driving her which makes me leave around 10 minutes after waking up my older daughter.

In the afternoons, my older daughter has marching band until 6pm. If I go to the gym after work, it is generally from 6-7 or 7:30. So on good days, I will see my oldest from 7:30 to 11. However, she is not a night owl and is usually in bed between 9 and 10. So I get a big hour and a half some days with the kid.

Mondays are a little crazy, but this one was a bit more than the norm. We did the new normal for the morning. I saw my oldest just long enough to wake her up. My younger had a lesson from 6-6:30 which threw off my time, but I was out and about when my older got released from band, so I drove her home. After I picked up the younger, I headed to the gym where I met my best friend and we worked out for an hour, then we went to pack some of her apartment for an upcoming move. When I got home it was 9. Both girls were in the bed-shocking! Really, it was. I figured they would be up to chat a bit at least, but since they were not, I ran back out and had a drink with my friend.

Tuesday, was another off day. The morning was normal. I did get to see my oldest for a minute because she was not feeling well and skipped band. I saw her for about 15 minutes when I ran home to pick up my younger daughter to go to Back to School Night. We were there until 9, and I had a late dinner with the girls which was immediately followed by my oldest dragging her butt to bed.

I have seen my oldest for maybe an hour over the last two days. During this time, she has tried to talk to me about her school stuff, but even while I am there, I am going in a zillion different directions. She brought this to my attention yesterday afternoon as she told me that she does not have a mom these days. She is an “Independent Baby.” That’s right. She is not an adult (her words), but does not have a mom this week.

Initially, I was amused by the comment. Honestly, I still am. This week has a lot more going on than most. I would love to be more present and I guess I could, but that would require eliminating things that I value like being a good friend. I am really thankful that I have an “independent baby” that can handle being on her own a bit from time to time, but after the last couple of days I am looking forward to a little slow down.

 

26
Aug
16

Warning: Crazy Lady

I lost my shit.

I would love to say that I have a great reason. I really don’t. It has been a mountain of things that piled up into one explosion of me yelling, slamming doors, cursing under my breath, and just being an all-around nasty person. I don’t even want to be around myself today.

I am just over it all this morning.

  • It is the first week of school. I have been fighting with the school constantly over my kids’ schedules with little to no response from their guidance counselor. Their last attempt made everything worse and, in turn, my youngest has been a royal pain.
  • It is my final week of classes, so assignments are due at midnight tonight. I was up until 1am writing a 16 page paper. I still have a test and business plan to do before midnight around work and our first football game.
  • My sleep schedule is off because one of my daughters was determined to take a zero period class
  • My house is a disaster and we have company coming over for dinner before the game tonight
  • No one has done anything that I have asked them to this week. At. All.
  • My dog stinks and refused to let my kid pick him up for a bath last night. His tail is mated. Grooming appointment next week, but in the meantime, he looks unkept.
  • I am menstrual

Funny how typing out all of my issues makes me just look crazier. Seriously, I need to take a chill pill.

23
Aug
16

Returning to the Crazy

Routine has returned! Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! Excited to be returning to our brand of crazy-school, extra-curriculars, and busy social lives make me happy.

Yesterday was the first day of school for the girls and to say I was thrilled might be an understatement. It is kind of crazy that I am excited as I am since the girls are old enough to stay home alone and do whatever, but things just run so much smoother when we all have routines. And, even though it is only day two, I am already feeling better about life.

In an ideal world, I would resume my morning workout schedule and hit the gym from 5:30-6:30 daily. Yesterday, I overslept (the first day of school-go me!). This morning I did it. Funny thing but hitting the gym gives me a great start to the day. I am put together somewhat and was able to even start a load of laundry this morning.

This year is especially nice with regards to back to school since both of my girls are in high school. They are back on the same schedule for the most part. No more crazy long bus rides in the afternoons or worrying that someone might miss a bus in the mornings. We are walking distance from the high school-SCORE!

My younger daughter is going to be taking a zero period class if they ever fix her schedule. This will mean that if I take her, I will be out of the house early enough to actually get to work on time. As of right now, that is my plan. I may have to adjust my morning routine a bit for this, but I think it will be a good change.

With the return to us all being on schedule comes better life decisions. I am back on the meal planning bandwagon. Whichever kid gets home first starts preparing whatever is needed for dinner. Last night, my daughter had lasagna on the table by the time her sister and I got home. The crockpot is my friend a lot of the time and I have decided just to keep salad mix and chicken strips on hand if they don’t feel like eating whatever I have planned or if we have an off night for some reason.

In addition to the better eating, we all just seem to work together better when we have our routines. Chores get done in a timelier manner-the board is back. Family study halls become a thing. We all appreciate our down time as well. As if I do not already live for our Tuesday night crap television shows, I really appreciate it when we have all had two full days of crazy.

Funny how much the little things can make a difference. I am a tired, but happy girl this morning. Love our kind of crazy.