Posts Tagged ‘family

10
Jul
17

Clueless

Newsflash: This girl has no freaking clue what she is doing at the moment!

For real. It is bad. I had not realized how bad it was until last night when I was out on a date and talking about life.

My life is a mess.

I am going to back up a bit. First, I actually had a date! Hold the press! That shit never happens. But it did and it was a guy that I was actually interested in. Note the word “was” because now I am not so sure. We had gone out a couple of times last year; I was interested and he had stuff going on. He resurfaced last week and was going to meet me out Monday, but things did not work out. He ended up making an appearance at the bar I was at Saturday night. Funny side note: I was singing Offspring’s Self Esteem karaoke when he walked in. Smh. He texted yesterday and asked about dinner which I jumped at.

My life really never changes. I am ridiculously boring. Really. It is not a bad thing usually. The last couple of months, however, I have found myself itching for change. As we were chatting we talked about my house. It is in a great part of town, but my street is busy, so I have started to seriously consider selling. My kids are getting older and will be gone in a couple of years. I have recently finished my degree and do not know what is next for myself as far as educational/professional goals.

I am sure I sounded like I have no clue. It is actually accurate.

I am not sure if there will be another date. Previously, I was all about it. This time, I am not so sure and I am actually very okay with it. I have never been a dater and have always been one that wanted relationships. Now, I think a date here and there while I figure things out might be the way to go. In related news, I got asked out for tomorrow night by another guy. Not sure if I am going yet, but it might be interesting….

Until I figure out something in my life, I am just going to focus on things that I can control. I signed up for a fitness class starting next week. My final class at Liberty began last week. I have a crazy list of house projects that I can work on. Perhaps while I do stuff the rest will fall into place. A girl can hope, at least.

03
Jul
17

Welcome, July!

July is finally upon us and the month is off to a bang!

I purposely planned for May/June to be light and relaxing. It definitely had its moments, but getting sick was not planned for. Luckily, I am finally on the mend. It is a good thing, too, because this week is not gonna give me any breaks.

I am excited for this week. It is jam packed full of fun and it is much needed.

Monday: A regular work day (may be cut short as I doubt anyone will answer my calls), my final class begins and I am hoping to return to the living and reconnect with my best friend for Monday Margaritas.

Tuesday: Volunteering at the fireworks stand and then a family cookout

Wednesday: My kiddo’s bday! I am working from home, playing chauffeur and hosting festivities in the evening

Thursday: A night out with my mom and sister!

Friday: A quiet night at home

Saturday: Fairystone State Park with family and friends

Sunday: Road tripping to take my youngest daughter to stay with family in NC (I love road trips!)

No more time to be sick! This week, I take back some of my life. I purchased breakfast and snacks for work, meal planned for evenings we were home, and will try my hardest to get in some exercise-it is time to start working on myself again. With any luck, the rest of the month will be productive while being just as full and fun!

29
Jun
17

Down with the Sickness

Over the last couple of years, I became accustomed to running on fumes. I work full time, have been going to school full time, and try to maintain a normal lifestyle for my kids, animals, and myself. This year as my classes began to wind down, I purposefully scheduled myself a break.

Since mid-May, I have just had to work and try to maintain. It has been nice, but surprising. I do not know how to function without the chaos. I miss having a lot going on and apparently my body does, too. I have been sick for the past two weeks.

Honestly, I am not sure that anything could have prepared me for the constant state of “ugh” that I have been in since getting sick. I guess my body just needed a break and this was the best way for it to get what it needs. I think I might be finally over the worst of it and be preparing to bounce back which is good since my schedule is about to pick up again.

The last few weeks have made me reevaluate a few things. It is time for me to be a little better to myself. As much as I like the chaos, I need to do better with my health. I do not ever want to feel like this again if I can help it.

No crazy plans are coming from this revelation. However, a few changes need to start happening in my world.

  1. I need rest. It is time for this mama to have a bedtime and try to stick with it.
  2. I need exercise. I feel better when I am working out regularly and I am paying for a gym membership. It is time to use the thing again.
  3. Eliminate the junk; I need to stop putting crap in my body and wondering why I feel terrible.

Saturday starts a new month. I think it is the perfect time for me to institute changes. Plus, starting then gives me a couple more days to recuperate. Hopefully, my next post will be from a much happier, and healthier, Ornery Dame.

06
Jun
17

Vacation Brain Part 2

We are in the home stretch! Today is Tuesday and we leave on Friday for vacation. Unfortunately, that means that my mind is in overdrive. As much as I love travelling, I am a ball of nerves whenever I leave.

I have created some killer packing lists this time for the trip and, thanks to being a clothes hoarder, can almost pack now and still have clothing to wear to work daily. In related news, do you have any idea how much sunscreen redheads should take on a trip to the Bahamas? The answer: a LOT. I have seven bottles going on this five day trip.

I absolutely despise coming home to a mess. Generally, this is because I jump right back into my crazy life. That being said, I have broken down my house so that we have a good chore list for everyone. If all goes well, the house will be in better shape than it is in normally when we get home.

I still need to run by the post office and stop our mail. I will likely do this task today at lunch. I was not thinking yesterday and made an online purchase which I am assuming may be delivered while we are away. I am hoping that it will be delivered snail mail; otherwise, I can hopefully sweet talk my best friend into intercepting the package for me in return for a beer when I return.

The animals. Poor little boogers are being displaced while we are gone. Taking the guinea pig to my parents so my youngest brother can watch her. The dogs are going to the vet to be boarded. I am trying to use all of the dry food we have up prior to leaving and will have to stop and buy more before the trip. Looks like I will be planning a trip to the store again Wednesday or Thursday…

In related news, while we are not having any real issues, I am planning to bug bomb once everyone and everything is out just to be safe. Guess I can pick that stuff up while I am getting a new bag of food for my furry friends.

Finally, I think the only other thing which I need to worry about is work. This is actually my slow time of year, so I am not terribly concerned. I am planning to put up away messages on my voicemail and email. I will reach out to everyone that I am currently working with to let them know I will be out and, then, I should be home free and clear. I will not have access to internet or phone for the trip and is should be DEVINE!

Only a little time and a lot to do. Obviously, I have quite the to-do list going. I cannot wait to have everything accomplished and be able to relax for a bit!

21
Mar
17

Seasons Change

Seasons change. Today was the first day of spring and I guess my feelings are appropriate considering, but I cannot seem to shake the feeling that I need a change. Really, the fact that I am feeling this way is a little surprising; I just had a week of break from my classes and thought I would be somewhat recharged. Instead, I am exhausted.

That is probably a good place as any to start. I am exhausted. It is not just an “I could really use a nap” kind of tired, either. It is a tired that I feel in my soul. I have an unrest of sorts brewing somewhere deep inside of me and it is manifesting itself everywhere.

I feel it at work. I have zero ability to concentrate lately. My mojo is lost. I had a strong start to the year and now things are slowing. Honestly, it is natural considering the work that I do, but it still makes me anxious. Sitting at the desk for eight hours a day with no real results kills me. I glanced through the want ads today, I do not think another job is the answer and there was nothing that I wanted to do.

I feel it at home. I want a new house. I am tired of fighting over bathrooms. Tired of stressing over neighbors, traffic, and bushes. I want a place where I can find peace. I also want to be in my current neighborhood, my mortgage payments to be cut in half, and a fenced in backyard for the puppos. Yeah, I need to get a grip.

I am feeling it in my relationships. My kids have a decent understanding of my funk and we deal. They act like teenagers, I snap, we make up, repeat. I have my on again off again relationship which works for me to a point. Now, it is working quite well which is probably not a good thing, but I have little desire to deal with many others at the moment. That is kinda sucky. I am talking to a couple of people, well, sort of talking. I owe a return call to one that I am supposed to go out with Friday, but I have come to realize that I despise the phone and if that is required for a relationship, I might be in trouble.

I am feeling it physically. I am tired. I am so blah. I finally got to the gym for a bit this evening for the first time in quite a while-it was excruciating. I have gained back everything I had lost. I am eating out too much. I am drinking too much…alcohol, soda, yep-if it’s bad for me, just add it to the list.

It is time for the season to change. Maybe for a few to change considering this brain dump. Perhaps the equinox hit at the right time and I can start fresh tomorrow. Of course, the fact it is almost two hours past my bedtime does not lead me to believe I won’t be tired again tomorrow.

23
Feb
17

Too much

So I am writing today because I need to clear my head a bit and sometimes putting things on paper (or computer helps). Today, I am completely overwhelmed and I need to get some order to the crazy in my head. I am a list maker so here are a few of the many things taking up space in my brain today and in my crazy, chaotic life. Maybe seeing it all spelled out will make me calm down a bit….

  1. My desk is a mess. I have a LOT of clients needing things from me and I do not know where to begin. On the plus side, I am head for the year and hit my goal for the month. Now, onto the next goal.
  2. I have a 7 page project/paper to work on and another huge group project due on Monday. It is close to the end of the semester which is great, but that means I have a lot due and we are going out of town next weekend. Gotta get a grip on stuff and fast.
  3. My tax return came (good thing), but totally overwhelmed trying to make sure I get everything we need to do with that taken care of (trips, car, prom, house repairs, yadda, yadda, yadda)
  4. Errands. Normally, not a big deal, but this week time is crazy. I need to make so many things happen and time is not my friend. I need to pick up glasses, get an oil change, the dog needs groomed, pick up snacks for a sleepover, etc.

Really, that does not look so bad.

Inhale. Exhale. Get shit done.

02
Jan
17

New Year, New Goals

As the first day of the new year is coming to an end, I figured it was about time to put some thoughts into writing. I have not been the best over the last few months as far as my blogging goes, but I really think that kind of goes along with life in general. It has just been a lot.

For me, however, I cannot really say that 2016 was all that bad. Sure we lost some icons and a huge election, but really it was just a bleh year in my book. Yeah, I gained back everything I had lost and still have not a lot to show for my efforts in a lot of areas, but we are all healthy for the most part. We have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and I am pretty blessed as far as people go in my life.

All of that being said, it is a new year which means it is time for some reflection. It is time for new goals and some new perspectives. My goals this year are fairly simple as reflection has led me to believe that I need to focus my energy in a few areas and I am hopeful that doing so will make me successful in those areas as well as others.

2017 Goals

  1. No Online Dating
  2. Finish School
  3. Travel More
  4. Prepare Oldest for Adulthood
  5. Get Healthy
  6. Work on Finances
  7. Work on House

No Online Dating-I know, it is probably a shocker and might be a little disappointing as many of my posts are about my dating disasters. However, that is really what most of my experiences with online dating have been. Frankly, it is soul draining. I know there are normal guys out there on the sites looking and that a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs, but enough already. I am taking a year off. I will date when normal guys approach me and ask me the old fashioned way. I cannot believe I wrote that without laughing-I have very low expectations for myself in the romance arena in 2017.

Finish School-I am actually pretty excited about this. Last semester was tough and I mean real tough. I have to repeat one of the two classes I took last round which throws off my degree completion plan. Luckily, I can still walk in May as long as I repeat the class this summer. My plan B was adding a minor and going until NEXT May which would have worked, but the thought of it made me cry a little.

Travel More-This is another one that makes me happy. My oldest is playing at Carnegie Hall this spring and I am hopeful that we will be in the audience for the performance. I also booked a cruise for June as a graduation celebration for myself and the girls since they are the poor souls that have to put up with me. Hoping to get in a few camping trips, as well. The gypsy in me is itching to get out and explore!

Prepare the Oldest-Sigh. I hate this, but love it. My oldest is 17 and as much as I want her to stay forever, it is time for me to really start setting her up for what is next. She is working on getting her license which terrifies me. Home girl needs a job and a car. This summer, we will have to start really looking into college options.

Get Healthy-I lost my way. Since starting to work on my Bachelor’s my efforts towards healthy living have gone to the wayside. It is time to get back into the gym, cut out sodas, and eat better.

Work on Finances-This is a no brainer, really. I need more money, less debt, and to be set up a little better in case of emergencies.

Work on the Casa-I have a lot of vision, but not a lot of follow through. It is time to make shit happen and fix my house up the way I want it.