Posts Tagged ‘friends

03
Jul
17

Welcome, July!

July is finally upon us and the month is off to a bang!

I purposely planned for May/June to be light and relaxing. It definitely had its moments, but getting sick was not planned for. Luckily, I am finally on the mend. It is a good thing, too, because this week is not gonna give me any breaks.

I am excited for this week. It is jam packed full of fun and it is much needed.

Monday: A regular work day (may be cut short as I doubt anyone will answer my calls), my final class begins and I am hoping to return to the living and reconnect with my best friend for Monday Margaritas.

Tuesday: Volunteering at the fireworks stand and then a family cookout

Wednesday: My kiddo’s bday! I am working from home, playing chauffeur and hosting festivities in the evening

Thursday: A night out with my mom and sister!

Friday: A quiet night at home

Saturday: Fairystone State Park with family and friends

Sunday: Road tripping to take my youngest daughter to stay with family in NC (I love road trips!)

No more time to be sick! This week, I take back some of my life. I purchased breakfast and snacks for work, meal planned for evenings we were home, and will try my hardest to get in some exercise-it is time to start working on myself again. With any luck, the rest of the month will be productive while being just as full and fun!

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31
Jan
17

Dating Chronicles: Embargo Update

Honestly, I figured with my online dating embargo I would be utterly bored. However, I had hoped that life would help me not be…I am back in school, have friends that are happy to keep me occupied, and the girls are busy. It is not enough. All that being said, I still get bored.

I reached back out to Mr. On Again Off Again and we saw each other a few times over the last couple of weeks. It was okay, but left me unsatisfied in the end. I know it is going nowhere, so why bother? Why? Again, I was bored. Ugh.

All along the way, I have had a couple of random guys that have chatted it up with me. One is another that could go nowhere, but he is amusing and I keep him around for kicks. I have no intentions of ever meeting the guy and sexting is not my thing so why he continues to chat is beyond me, but whatever.

The other guy actually seems okay. He is age appropriate, has a good job, is far enough away from me geographically that he should not invade my space too much. We have been chatting on and off since October maybe? Why in the world we have continued this long, I will never know, but he seems nice enough and what else do I have going on? We have tried a few times to meet and things always come up on his end. He tried to meet me once impromptu, as well. That shit does not work for me. I had plans.

Tomorrow, guy number two and I are supposed to meet for lunch. It seems like it will actually happen. I am a little nervous. We have chatted for so long that I will be terribly disappointed if he is not at least friend material.

Not gonna lie. Really hoping that this lunch date ends up having potential. I am so freaking tired of the same old shit. Would not mind more at this point in my life. Not looking to get married or anything crazy, but it would be nice to have someone to share experiences with now and then. Oh well, I guess we will see what happens next.

16
Jan
17

Where do you meet people?

“Where do you meet people?”

The million dollar question. I was asked this recently after disclosing my resolution to not date online in 2017. It is one I have been asking myself since I decided to take a year off from online dating. So far, other than a few moments of boredom thanks to a self-inflicted hermit mode, which has since ended, not doing the online dating is not so bad. In fact, it is kinda nice.

I have one guy that I chat with via text periodically; I actually met him on pof back in the fall, but figure it is okay to continue conversations since it has been so long in the making. Honestly, he has been super patient while I have put off meeting him for a zillion reasons. We are supposed to do lunch this week.

Other than the one lingering pof guy, I am back to doing things the old fashioned way. Funny, because that never worked for me in the past. However, I am hopeful. Part of my reasoning for doing the online deal was I did not meet people in my normal life. I was too routine and stuck to the same old same old. You can’t meet new people if you do not break out of the norm. I got bored towards the end of last year and I am determined to do things differently this year. I figure that if I do more, go more places, and hang out with different people, I will broaden my circles and, in turn, maybe meet new people.

Last week, I went to trivia with friends at a local brewery and had a blast. We are going to go again this week. Friday night, I went out with my little sister to a bar about as far removed as I can get from my own little world. It was an interesting experience-gotta love when a guy tries to start conversations with you using a line like, “You ride horses?” *Related news, I think I can officially never call myself a country girl again. Saturday, I played Bingo with my mom and later went to the home bar with friends. I actually friended a guy that I think is cute that I see out at the bar on Facebook after seeing him out. Unfortunately, pretty sure he has a girlfriend after looking at some of his pics. Oh well.

I have a good life and great people in it. I figure if I have fun, try new things, and enjoy what I have, the energy will attract the right people. For now, that is my focus. I will add friends as the opportunity arises and remain hopeful that someday more might be waiting around the corner.

 

19
Dec
16

The Brink of Insanity

I was contacted not too long ago by a guy that I previously dated. At the time, he was married and going through a separation, we started talking and life got in the way. He has had to stay in the marriage a bit longer than expected which is fine. I was his friend first and will remain so regardless of whatever happens; if down the road we can ever get on the same page, fine.

All of that being said, the guy and I speak periodically. Regardless of how innocent our conversations are, his wife would never be happy to know that her husband was talking to another girl-especially one that he has a past with. It is what it is.

Saturday, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. The girls and I were headed out of town, my house was a disaster, I was exhausted from a crazy week, my dog sitter was not able to come as she previously indicated. It was one thing after another.

As we were loading the car, I noticed that there was a card in our mailbox. It had been overlooked the previous day when we took in the mail. It was addressed to the household with no return address. I opened it inside and my stomach instantly tied in knots.

“Hope you and the girls have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Love…” It was his name and hers.

Needless to say I was shocked. I instantly took the card into the other room and snapped a photo to send to my friend asking him what the hell?

Through very sporadic texts throughout the day he said that he did not think it was from her. I grew more and more paranoid and irritated. I do not do drama and whoever sent the card, as far as I was concerned, knew me, knew my kids, and knew where I lived.

The entire issue was weighing on my mind come bedtime. My paranoia had increased to the point that I was wondering what might come next, if anything. I decided to tell my daughter about everything in case any more mail came addressed to the household without a return address.

I tell my daughter the story and about what the card said mentioning the names of my friend and his wife. My daughter, responds, “Isn’t that the name of WB’s cousin and his wife?”

In all of my crazy paranoia and over reacting, I failed to think about the fact that I do have a couple with the same names that I see socially from time to time.

Needless to say, I was amused and a bit relieved. My daughter thought I was crazy. I can only imagine what was going through my poor friend’s mind. I did let him know that it was someone I knew and I was having a crazy moment, but we have not actually spoken since the ordeal. Honestly, this experience is a great reminder of why I do not do drama and should not associate with married people. Probably gonna take a few steps back until he is ready to make some needed changes.

09
Nov
16

Words Hurt

Sunday afternoon, my younger daughter was invited to go to the local trampoline park with a friend. The girls have been friends for a long time and I was glad to have them hang out as I really do like this particular friend.

Up until this point, I have only had the opportunity to deal with the girl’s father as her parents are divorced. This outing was to be under the mother’s watch. Before leaving, my daughter said that she had been warned by her friend not to discuss politics and that her friend had told her mother not to bring the subject up. I thought it was a little odd, but let it go. As always, I made sure my daughter had sufficient funds for the outing and left to run some errands.

When I returned home, my daughter was still there. The woman was almost an hour late picking her up.

A couple of hours later, my daughter returned. She adamantly stated that she would never do anything with the woman again. Upon some probing I was able to get a few issues out of her:

The woman did not have change and wanted to purchase a locker. My daughter paid for the locker and upon putting her own belongings in the locker, the woman snarled her face.

After they played for some time, the trio wanted drinks. My daughter’s friend said they would just buy the drink since she paid for the locker. Instead of doing so, the mother pulled the daughter aside, but not out of hearing distance and said she would NOT buy my daughter a drink. My daughter had to go back to the locker room and retrieve her own money. She purchased herself a big blue slurpee and made her daughter get water.

Then, the woman started talking politics. My daughter tried to politely change the subject and the woman pressed the issue. Apparently, she really pressed the issue and my daughter finally had to say she did not want to talk about it. To change the topic, the woman started talking about how great her job was and how much money she made.

On the way back to my house, they stopped and grabbed dinner-the mother and daughter did. They did not ask my daughter if she wanted anything which was a little rude but whatever. She proceeded to tell her daughter that she had to get a salad even though it was her “cheat day” because she did not want her getting any fatter. The mom got a burger with an extra patty and sides.

My daughter was completely floored as she told me about everything that happened. Not only was she appalled at the way she was treated by an adult but she was more upset over the way the woman treated her own daughter making issue about her weight and such.

The next day at school, the girl apologized for her mother’s behavior and repaid my daughter out of her own money which was totally not necessary. She said she was sorry if her mother insulted her and my daughter was taken back because while she had been rude, it was not insulting. With that being the case, my daughter asked what she meant and the girl said she was talking about the comments that the woman made about our house.  I guess it was not up to her standards because I need to trim the hedges and I have a board that needs replaced on the porch.

There is just so much wrong with the situation that it makes my blood boil. First, don’t be ugly to my kid. I am not entirely sure why there was a chip on the woman’s shoulder from the get go, but you don’t treat kids like that period. Second, I don’t care how big your kid is, you do not shame them. You definitely do not shame them in front of their peers. Frankly, maybe if you were seriously worried about your kid’s size you would skip the fast food period, but whatever. Acting like that is what leads girls to sneak food and then purge later. It damages their spirit.

While I probably should not be as offended as I am over the woman’s comments and actions, I am pissed. As I said before, I have never met this woman. For the years I have known her daughter, I have never laid eyes on her at a school function. She has never been in the car pool lane in front of or behind me. I do not know what their situation is, but I do know that she is not there. I guess taking her kid to do fun stuff and bragging about money is her way of making herself feel better.

My house might not be the nicest on my block, but it is mine just like everything else that we have. I am the ONLY parent my girls have and it has been that way for ten years now. Things like replacing that board on the front porch gets put on the back burner so that I can pay for field trips or name brand shoes for my kids to fit in with the rest. Yeah, my hedges need trimmed, but put that off. Instead, I decided to take my last free weekend to take my girls camping because we had been going nonstop since July with marching band. Yeah, I am that involved parent at EVERY event, or as close to it as I can manage while working full time building my career, not just a job, and going to school full time to better myself. I do not have the luxury of being that fair weather, fun parent but I try to let my kids have a normal childhood and you can bet that if I am inviting someone else’s kid somewhere that I am going to ask if they want a drink or need something to eat when I order for myself and my own kids. Regardless of how much or how little money I have, I will treat everyone that is in my presence the same. I am the ONLY parent my girls have and it has been that way for ten years now. Things like replacing that board get put on the back burner so that I can pay for field trips or name brand shoes for my kids to fit in with the rest. I cannot always give them everything, but I try to give them some of the things they want.

I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I seem to stay that way, but I do it because I want more for my kids. To hear such crappy things hurts because I do try hard.

People really need to think before they speak.

31
Aug
16

Independent Baby

I will never claim to be a great parent, but I try hard and have not killed either of them yet, so I think I am winning. As the girls have gotten older, I have come to appreciate their independence and the freedom that comes with having teenagers. That being said, I really do try to be a good parent and present as much as humanly possible.

With the new school year, however, we have new challenges with my being present. My younger daughter has a zero period class meaning she has to be at school over an hour before her sister and it is her music class, so she is transporting her instrument. Being nice, I have been driving her which makes me leave around 10 minutes after waking up my older daughter.

In the afternoons, my older daughter has marching band until 6pm. If I go to the gym after work, it is generally from 6-7 or 7:30. So on good days, I will see my oldest from 7:30 to 11. However, she is not a night owl and is usually in bed between 9 and 10. So I get a big hour and a half some days with the kid.

Mondays are a little crazy, but this one was a bit more than the norm. We did the new normal for the morning. I saw my oldest just long enough to wake her up. My younger had a lesson from 6-6:30 which threw off my time, but I was out and about when my older got released from band, so I drove her home. After I picked up the younger, I headed to the gym where I met my best friend and we worked out for an hour, then we went to pack some of her apartment for an upcoming move. When I got home it was 9. Both girls were in the bed-shocking! Really, it was. I figured they would be up to chat a bit at least, but since they were not, I ran back out and had a drink with my friend.

Tuesday, was another off day. The morning was normal. I did get to see my oldest for a minute because she was not feeling well and skipped band. I saw her for about 15 minutes when I ran home to pick up my younger daughter to go to Back to School Night. We were there until 9, and I had a late dinner with the girls which was immediately followed by my oldest dragging her butt to bed.

I have seen my oldest for maybe an hour over the last two days. During this time, she has tried to talk to me about her school stuff, but even while I am there, I am going in a zillion different directions. She brought this to my attention yesterday afternoon as she told me that she does not have a mom these days. She is an “Independent Baby.” That’s right. She is not an adult (her words), but does not have a mom this week.

Initially, I was amused by the comment. Honestly, I still am. This week has a lot more going on than most. I would love to be more present and I guess I could, but that would require eliminating things that I value like being a good friend. I am really thankful that I have an “independent baby” that can handle being on her own a bit from time to time, but after the last couple of days I am looking forward to a little slow down.

 

27
Jul
16

Buckle Up

Next Monday is August 1. Summer is over. Done. Finished. Really it was over this Monday, but August seals the deal. This week some of it has started with my oldest starting marching band, but the next few weeks will really seal the deal. By the end of the month, both girls back in school and extracurricular activities will be back in full swing. Looking forward, the fall is going to be insane. Football games, marching band competitions, RYSO practices, dance lessons, viola lessons, etc., etc., etc.

And then, there is me. As the keeper of the chaos, I am involved in all the above mentioned activities, but I also have my own life to maintain. In addition to my regular, full time job, I have registered for my fall classes last night. I may regret it, but I am going to go full time. I really want to push through going full time amidst all the chaos.

I have got to get back in the game and work on myself more with regards to diet and exercise. Hoping that August, while being hectic, can be a good starting point for making some changes to carry through for the rest of the year. It is not too late for me to hit my goals if I really try. So, I am going to give it a shot.

My social life might suffer, but I am kind of feeling like there is not a whole lot there as it is. My best friend and partner in crime has become distant over the last few weeks. Such is life, but it makes me sad. Luckily, a few of my other friends have resurfaced enough to keep me from getting overly depressed and the pinup group I am in has a lot of activities that will take place in the fall. I am too social to be happy just staying home all of the time.

Otherwise, I have had a few dates over the last couple of months, but nothing that has led to anything I am overly excited about. The one that I was most interested in has gone silent as many tend to do and as much as I do not mind putting myself out there, I don’t want to appear desperate. I am really not. I keep debating on looking more, but I really don’t know that I am even that interested. Of course, drunken me and lonely me will sometimes take the reins and make me look for a minute or two now and then. But it will take a special person to want to deal with all that I am going to have going on, so not sure I should really bother.

There ya have it. Looking forward, I think the remainder of the year is going to be rather interesting. It will be fun to see how well we can all manage with everything we have going on. Hoping to get some organization in place over the next few weeks and that I can get the girls to buy in to helping out a bit more moving forward so that I might maintain some sanity. Regardless, I think we all need to buckle up we are gonna be in for a wild ride!