Posts Tagged ‘home

10
Jul
17

Clueless

Newsflash: This girl has no freaking clue what she is doing at the moment!

For real. It is bad. I had not realized how bad it was until last night when I was out on a date and talking about life.

My life is a mess.

I am going to back up a bit. First, I actually had a date! Hold the press! That shit never happens. But it did and it was a guy that I was actually interested in. Note the word “was” because now I am not so sure. We had gone out a couple of times last year; I was interested and he had stuff going on. He resurfaced last week and was going to meet me out Monday, but things did not work out. He ended up making an appearance at the bar I was at Saturday night. Funny side note: I was singing Offspring’s Self Esteem karaoke when he walked in. Smh. He texted yesterday and asked about dinner which I jumped at.

My life really never changes. I am ridiculously boring. Really. It is not a bad thing usually. The last couple of months, however, I have found myself itching for change. As we were chatting we talked about my house. It is in a great part of town, but my street is busy, so I have started to seriously consider selling. My kids are getting older and will be gone in a couple of years. I have recently finished my degree and do not know what is next for myself as far as educational/professional goals.

I am sure I sounded like I have no clue. It is actually accurate.

I am not sure if there will be another date. Previously, I was all about it. This time, I am not so sure and I am actually very okay with it. I have never been a dater and have always been one that wanted relationships. Now, I think a date here and there while I figure things out might be the way to go. In related news, I got asked out for tomorrow night by another guy. Not sure if I am going yet, but it might be interesting….

Until I figure out something in my life, I am just going to focus on things that I can control. I signed up for a fitness class starting next week. My final class at Liberty began last week. I have a crazy list of house projects that I can work on. Perhaps while I do stuff the rest will fall into place. A girl can hope, at least.

03
Jul
17

Welcome, July!

July is finally upon us and the month is off to a bang!

I purposely planned for May/June to be light and relaxing. It definitely had its moments, but getting sick was not planned for. Luckily, I am finally on the mend. It is a good thing, too, because this week is not gonna give me any breaks.

I am excited for this week. It is jam packed full of fun and it is much needed.

Monday: A regular work day (may be cut short as I doubt anyone will answer my calls), my final class begins and I am hoping to return to the living and reconnect with my best friend for Monday Margaritas.

Tuesday: Volunteering at the fireworks stand and then a family cookout

Wednesday: My kiddo’s bday! I am working from home, playing chauffeur and hosting festivities in the evening

Thursday: A night out with my mom and sister!

Friday: A quiet night at home

Saturday: Fairystone State Park with family and friends

Sunday: Road tripping to take my youngest daughter to stay with family in NC (I love road trips!)

No more time to be sick! This week, I take back some of my life. I purchased breakfast and snacks for work, meal planned for evenings we were home, and will try my hardest to get in some exercise-it is time to start working on myself again. With any luck, the rest of the month will be productive while being just as full and fun!

06
Jun
17

Vacation Brain Part 2

We are in the home stretch! Today is Tuesday and we leave on Friday for vacation. Unfortunately, that means that my mind is in overdrive. As much as I love travelling, I am a ball of nerves whenever I leave.

I have created some killer packing lists this time for the trip and, thanks to being a clothes hoarder, can almost pack now and still have clothing to wear to work daily. In related news, do you have any idea how much sunscreen redheads should take on a trip to the Bahamas? The answer: a LOT. I have seven bottles going on this five day trip.

I absolutely despise coming home to a mess. Generally, this is because I jump right back into my crazy life. That being said, I have broken down my house so that we have a good chore list for everyone. If all goes well, the house will be in better shape than it is in normally when we get home.

I still need to run by the post office and stop our mail. I will likely do this task today at lunch. I was not thinking yesterday and made an online purchase which I am assuming may be delivered while we are away. I am hoping that it will be delivered snail mail; otherwise, I can hopefully sweet talk my best friend into intercepting the package for me in return for a beer when I return.

The animals. Poor little boogers are being displaced while we are gone. Taking the guinea pig to my parents so my youngest brother can watch her. The dogs are going to the vet to be boarded. I am trying to use all of the dry food we have up prior to leaving and will have to stop and buy more before the trip. Looks like I will be planning a trip to the store again Wednesday or Thursday…

In related news, while we are not having any real issues, I am planning to bug bomb once everyone and everything is out just to be safe. Guess I can pick that stuff up while I am getting a new bag of food for my furry friends.

Finally, I think the only other thing which I need to worry about is work. This is actually my slow time of year, so I am not terribly concerned. I am planning to put up away messages on my voicemail and email. I will reach out to everyone that I am currently working with to let them know I will be out and, then, I should be home free and clear. I will not have access to internet or phone for the trip and is should be DEVINE!

Only a little time and a lot to do. Obviously, I have quite the to-do list going. I cannot wait to have everything accomplished and be able to relax for a bit!

21
Mar
17

Seasons Change

Seasons change. Today was the first day of spring and I guess my feelings are appropriate considering, but I cannot seem to shake the feeling that I need a change. Really, the fact that I am feeling this way is a little surprising; I just had a week of break from my classes and thought I would be somewhat recharged. Instead, I am exhausted.

That is probably a good place as any to start. I am exhausted. It is not just an “I could really use a nap” kind of tired, either. It is a tired that I feel in my soul. I have an unrest of sorts brewing somewhere deep inside of me and it is manifesting itself everywhere.

I feel it at work. I have zero ability to concentrate lately. My mojo is lost. I had a strong start to the year and now things are slowing. Honestly, it is natural considering the work that I do, but it still makes me anxious. Sitting at the desk for eight hours a day with no real results kills me. I glanced through the want ads today, I do not think another job is the answer and there was nothing that I wanted to do.

I feel it at home. I want a new house. I am tired of fighting over bathrooms. Tired of stressing over neighbors, traffic, and bushes. I want a place where I can find peace. I also want to be in my current neighborhood, my mortgage payments to be cut in half, and a fenced in backyard for the puppos. Yeah, I need to get a grip.

I am feeling it in my relationships. My kids have a decent understanding of my funk and we deal. They act like teenagers, I snap, we make up, repeat. I have my on again off again relationship which works for me to a point. Now, it is working quite well which is probably not a good thing, but I have little desire to deal with many others at the moment. That is kinda sucky. I am talking to a couple of people, well, sort of talking. I owe a return call to one that I am supposed to go out with Friday, but I have come to realize that I despise the phone and if that is required for a relationship, I might be in trouble.

I am feeling it physically. I am tired. I am so blah. I finally got to the gym for a bit this evening for the first time in quite a while-it was excruciating. I have gained back everything I had lost. I am eating out too much. I am drinking too much…alcohol, soda, yep-if it’s bad for me, just add it to the list.

It is time for the season to change. Maybe for a few to change considering this brain dump. Perhaps the equinox hit at the right time and I can start fresh tomorrow. Of course, the fact it is almost two hours past my bedtime does not lead me to believe I won’t be tired again tomorrow.

23
Feb
17

Too much

So I am writing today because I need to clear my head a bit and sometimes putting things on paper (or computer helps). Today, I am completely overwhelmed and I need to get some order to the crazy in my head. I am a list maker so here are a few of the many things taking up space in my brain today and in my crazy, chaotic life. Maybe seeing it all spelled out will make me calm down a bit….

  1. My desk is a mess. I have a LOT of clients needing things from me and I do not know where to begin. On the plus side, I am head for the year and hit my goal for the month. Now, onto the next goal.
  2. I have a 7 page project/paper to work on and another huge group project due on Monday. It is close to the end of the semester which is great, but that means I have a lot due and we are going out of town next weekend. Gotta get a grip on stuff and fast.
  3. My tax return came (good thing), but totally overwhelmed trying to make sure I get everything we need to do with that taken care of (trips, car, prom, house repairs, yadda, yadda, yadda)
  4. Errands. Normally, not a big deal, but this week time is crazy. I need to make so many things happen and time is not my friend. I need to pick up glasses, get an oil change, the dog needs groomed, pick up snacks for a sleepover, etc.

Really, that does not look so bad.

Inhale. Exhale. Get shit done.

07
Oct
16

A Quick Ornery Update

Two weeks have passed since my last blog; not a lot has been happening in my world. I started talking to the guy I have seen on again and off again over the years. Maybe I am a bit insane to fool with it since they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, but I have this crazy little part of me that needs to ride it out and see what happens. He has been a good distraction. I like the idea of us. Always have, hence the one again off again for years.

In keeping with the “What random guys have entered my world” topic, I was highly amused last weekend when a guy slipped me his number at the end of the night. I later found out he was 26. I feel like age should only be a number, but I am really struggling with the idea of seeing someone that much younger. Granted, he is not the 22 year old that asked me to come over earlier this week, but still, the age difference is an issue. Funny how I do not mind a guy ten years older, but one ten years younger is a hang up. Regardless, dude has asked me out twice now and I have declined because of my crazy life. I need to either say yes and give it a try or cut the dude loose. Time is ticking (at least in my own head).

Otherwise, life is okay. I am totally overwhelmed with school. There is only two more weeks this round of classes which is awesome, but these classes are killing me with papers. I feel like I am barely staying afloat with their workloads. I have officially registered for spring classes and get to apply for graduation in January!

Football/marching band season continues. Tonight’s game is looking soggy-stupid Matthew. I may sit it out. Kind of hoping that tomorrow’s competition gets cancelled so I can focus on school and housework for the day.

My best friend found a new home! We get to move her on Sunday. Hoping with her getting reestablished that we can get some routine going. I need a gym buddy again.

My oldest turns 17 next week. The festivities are apparently going to be all week long. I am feeling very old and poor. Homegirl has expensive tastes.

Well, that is a quick Ornery update. Hopefully, there is something good on the horizon. Fingers crossed!

31
Aug
16

Independent Baby

I will never claim to be a great parent, but I try hard and have not killed either of them yet, so I think I am winning. As the girls have gotten older, I have come to appreciate their independence and the freedom that comes with having teenagers. That being said, I really do try to be a good parent and present as much as humanly possible.

With the new school year, however, we have new challenges with my being present. My younger daughter has a zero period class meaning she has to be at school over an hour before her sister and it is her music class, so she is transporting her instrument. Being nice, I have been driving her which makes me leave around 10 minutes after waking up my older daughter.

In the afternoons, my older daughter has marching band until 6pm. If I go to the gym after work, it is generally from 6-7 or 7:30. So on good days, I will see my oldest from 7:30 to 11. However, she is not a night owl and is usually in bed between 9 and 10. So I get a big hour and a half some days with the kid.

Mondays are a little crazy, but this one was a bit more than the norm. We did the new normal for the morning. I saw my oldest just long enough to wake her up. My younger had a lesson from 6-6:30 which threw off my time, but I was out and about when my older got released from band, so I drove her home. After I picked up the younger, I headed to the gym where I met my best friend and we worked out for an hour, then we went to pack some of her apartment for an upcoming move. When I got home it was 9. Both girls were in the bed-shocking! Really, it was. I figured they would be up to chat a bit at least, but since they were not, I ran back out and had a drink with my friend.

Tuesday, was another off day. The morning was normal. I did get to see my oldest for a minute because she was not feeling well and skipped band. I saw her for about 15 minutes when I ran home to pick up my younger daughter to go to Back to School Night. We were there until 9, and I had a late dinner with the girls which was immediately followed by my oldest dragging her butt to bed.

I have seen my oldest for maybe an hour over the last two days. During this time, she has tried to talk to me about her school stuff, but even while I am there, I am going in a zillion different directions. She brought this to my attention yesterday afternoon as she told me that she does not have a mom these days. She is an “Independent Baby.” That’s right. She is not an adult (her words), but does not have a mom this week.

Initially, I was amused by the comment. Honestly, I still am. This week has a lot more going on than most. I would love to be more present and I guess I could, but that would require eliminating things that I value like being a good friend. I am really thankful that I have an “independent baby” that can handle being on her own a bit from time to time, but after the last couple of days I am looking forward to a little slow down.