Posts Tagged ‘money


Words Hurt

Sunday afternoon, my younger daughter was invited to go to the local trampoline park with a friend. The girls have been friends for a long time and I was glad to have them hang out as I really do like this particular friend.

Up until this point, I have only had the opportunity to deal with the girl’s father as her parents are divorced. This outing was to be under the mother’s watch. Before leaving, my daughter said that she had been warned by her friend not to discuss politics and that her friend had told her mother not to bring the subject up. I thought it was a little odd, but let it go. As always, I made sure my daughter had sufficient funds for the outing and left to run some errands.

When I returned home, my daughter was still there. The woman was almost an hour late picking her up.

A couple of hours later, my daughter returned. She adamantly stated that she would never do anything with the woman again. Upon some probing I was able to get a few issues out of her:

The woman did not have change and wanted to purchase a locker. My daughter paid for the locker and upon putting her own belongings in the locker, the woman snarled her face.

After they played for some time, the trio wanted drinks. My daughter’s friend said they would just buy the drink since she paid for the locker. Instead of doing so, the mother pulled the daughter aside, but not out of hearing distance and said she would NOT buy my daughter a drink. My daughter had to go back to the locker room and retrieve her own money. She purchased herself a big blue slurpee and made her daughter get water.

Then, the woman started talking politics. My daughter tried to politely change the subject and the woman pressed the issue. Apparently, she really pressed the issue and my daughter finally had to say she did not want to talk about it. To change the topic, the woman started talking about how great her job was and how much money she made.

On the way back to my house, they stopped and grabbed dinner-the mother and daughter did. They did not ask my daughter if she wanted anything which was a little rude but whatever. She proceeded to tell her daughter that she had to get a salad even though it was her “cheat day” because she did not want her getting any fatter. The mom got a burger with an extra patty and sides.

My daughter was completely floored as she told me about everything that happened. Not only was she appalled at the way she was treated by an adult but she was more upset over the way the woman treated her own daughter making issue about her weight and such.

The next day at school, the girl apologized for her mother’s behavior and repaid my daughter out of her own money which was totally not necessary. She said she was sorry if her mother insulted her and my daughter was taken back because while she had been rude, it was not insulting. With that being the case, my daughter asked what she meant and the girl said she was talking about the comments that the woman made about our house.  I guess it was not up to her standards because I need to trim the hedges and I have a board that needs replaced on the porch.

There is just so much wrong with the situation that it makes my blood boil. First, don’t be ugly to my kid. I am not entirely sure why there was a chip on the woman’s shoulder from the get go, but you don’t treat kids like that period. Second, I don’t care how big your kid is, you do not shame them. You definitely do not shame them in front of their peers. Frankly, maybe if you were seriously worried about your kid’s size you would skip the fast food period, but whatever. Acting like that is what leads girls to sneak food and then purge later. It damages their spirit.

While I probably should not be as offended as I am over the woman’s comments and actions, I am pissed. As I said before, I have never met this woman. For the years I have known her daughter, I have never laid eyes on her at a school function. She has never been in the car pool lane in front of or behind me. I do not know what their situation is, but I do know that she is not there. I guess taking her kid to do fun stuff and bragging about money is her way of making herself feel better.

My house might not be the nicest on my block, but it is mine just like everything else that we have. I am the ONLY parent my girls have and it has been that way for ten years now. Things like replacing that board on the front porch gets put on the back burner so that I can pay for field trips or name brand shoes for my kids to fit in with the rest. Yeah, my hedges need trimmed, but put that off. Instead, I decided to take my last free weekend to take my girls camping because we had been going nonstop since July with marching band. Yeah, I am that involved parent at EVERY event, or as close to it as I can manage while working full time building my career, not just a job, and going to school full time to better myself. I do not have the luxury of being that fair weather, fun parent but I try to let my kids have a normal childhood and you can bet that if I am inviting someone else’s kid somewhere that I am going to ask if they want a drink or need something to eat when I order for myself and my own kids. Regardless of how much or how little money I have, I will treat everyone that is in my presence the same. I am the ONLY parent my girls have and it has been that way for ten years now. Things like replacing that board get put on the back burner so that I can pay for field trips or name brand shoes for my kids to fit in with the rest. I cannot always give them everything, but I try to give them some of the things they want.

I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I seem to stay that way, but I do it because I want more for my kids. To hear such crappy things hurts because I do try hard.

People really need to think before they speak.


Adulting Sucks

Some days I really feel like I am a decent adult. Others not so much. Lately, there has been a lot of not so much. I am sure a lot of it is because I do too much and spread myself too thin, but geez. Here are a few of my issues lately. Things could definitely be worse, but these are a few of the things that have managed to make me feel like a lousy adult this week.

  1. I screwed up my accounts. I have money. I transferred money. I forgot about the holiday and left myself with nothing to run on.
  2. In my attempt to fix my before mentioned mishap, I realized that I had no checks. I hardly ever use them so, of course, when I need one, I am screwed.
  3. Road work. Holy shit there is a lot going on lately. Everywhere I go I get delayed.
  4. My lawnmower broke. Well, maybe it isn’t really broken. But it won’t start. And it is new. Like two weeks old. Hopefully, it is just bad gas. Otherwise, ugh.
  5. I might have purchased the new lawnmower for nothing; my dad thinks that my old mower might have had bad gas too.
  6. With my overgrown yard, I am becoming THAT neighbor.
  7. I have not cooked for my children all week and I am pretty sure that there is not much for them to choose from in the house because I didn’t grocery shop last weekend.
  8. I have not gotten to the gym all week.
  9. I forgot my little brother’s birthday.
  10. I have zero focus on my work because of all of the other shit running through my mind.

And there you have it. Just a snippet of the crap that has left me feeling like a sucky adult this week. Hoping that the weekend will help me get things turned around and going in the right direction again. Stay tuned!


Getting Organized

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that life was getting crazy, but in a good way. Funny, but my household runs so much better when we are fully engulfed in activities and chaos. That being said, there are a few things that really do seem to help make life run a little smoother and there are a few things that I am considering adding to my organizational systems moving forward.

Current Systems:

Dry Erase Boards: I currently have two. One which has columns for each of us and rows for each day so that we can list our activities. The other is a to do board which I put chores and notes to the kids (their favorite-sarcasm, totally)

Google: I love my Google Calendar which I have two that are intertwined. One for work which is attached to scheduling software and the other which is for family/kid stuff. My other favorite Google app-Keep. I can create lists for EVERYTHING. Groceries? Homework? Errands? Karaoke songs? Gift ideas? Yep, chances are I have a list going.

Other: I am a creature of habit. Some things are just accepted in our house. Tuesday nights, we watch tv and I do laundry. Wednesday nights, we put cans out for Thursday pick up. Sundays, we play catch up.

New Introductions:

Car Organizer: I got a new car a couple of weeks ago and have just started to realize the lack of storage space in the console. I spend a lot of time in my car during the school year waiting on kids and doing homework. I am looking for an organizer that I can keep post-its, highlighters, pens, snacks, my coloring book and pencils-basically everything a three year old needs on a road trip because I am that mom.

An old school planner: I purchased an old school paper planner a week or two ago. Honestly, even with my current systems, I felt like I was floundering. There is something great about being able to write stuff down and mark things off. Not sure I am not in organization overkill, but giving it a try. My girls both got new planners, too.

Stocking my work lunch room: Trying this for the first time this week. I purchased my sodas (yeah, I should quit), frozen lunches, oatmeal, and snacks when I went shopping over the weekend. Now, I am not having to run out and take time away from my desk and I should save a bit-a winning situation.

Other good ideas that might eventually be implemented:

Planning outfits: I should be that girl. I am not. My mornings would run so much smoother. I might get there eventually.

Keeping a packed gym bag: This could easily happen. This should easily happen. It does from time to time, but I think if I kept one ready to go, I would sneak a workout in now and then during down times.

So that is where I am at the moment-in the midst of chaos, loving it, but preparing for when it gets worse or I just am not feeling it quite as much. Any ideas on other things I can do to prepare and keep life running smooth? What works for you?


Losing it

I generally feel like I keep myself together despite the crazy that is my normal life. My house might not be immaculate and some might question my sanity, but, for the most part, I think I do okay. Well, some days.

This month has been a struggle. Especially mornings. It is harder and harder for me to get up and moving. This morning was no different. I woke up late, threw on clothes and was ready to head out the door.

Then, I remembered that I had forgotten to take my pills.  Back in the house I went.

Minutes later, I got on the road and a couple of miles into my commute remembered the errand that I have to run at lunch. It requires my checkbook which I do not normally carry. So, I turned around. Now, it is important to realize I was already ridiculously late before turning around, but the errand is that important.

I run back in my house and tear apart my desk which is covered in my kids’ papers and such that they have been bringing home over the last couple of weeks in preparation for the end of school, no checkbook. Panic sets in. I tear apart the side tables thinking maybe it is on one of them. Nothing. I take a big breath and try to retrace where I would have had it last. The school. I used it to pay for summer classes. I would have had it in the car.

I run back out to the car which I was in minutes before and find the stupid checkbook in my purse. Seriously.

At that point, I am beyond ridiculously late, irritated as hell, and I still have not had breakfast. I treated myself to Dunkin Donuts.

Funny thing about losing it. For some reason, whenever I feel like I have hit bottom and I am at my wits end, things start happening. I had a surprise in my inbox from one of my clients and have had a great morning at work. My oldest that is home today is being unusually kind to me via messaging. And my sister has started to slowly initiate contact again.

My favorite mantra these days is, “It is just a bad day, not a bad life.” Well, this morning, it was just a bad morning, but it is a pretty darn good day.



What was supposed to be a great weekend went to hell fast and has left me all out of sorts. Crazy how much someone can intentionally hurt another person. I hate being someone that takes things so personally. However, it is impossible not to when attacked in virtually every aspect of my life. Not cool. So, today, I am fuming.

I don’t need to go into all of the gory details of what happened. What’s done is done.  It is water under the bridge and, unfortunately, I seriously doubt that my relationship with the other person will ever be the same. But it has caused me to do some reflecting which I guess is a good thing. So here are a few things that I think need to be said. Maybe that person will see this, maybe not. It is therapeutic for me, regardless.

Eventually, we all have to grow up and take ownership for our own lives. We each make our own paths. We each have to live with the consequences of our decisions. That is life. The great thing about life is, it is what we make it.  Not happy in your own? Fix it. That is on you. Not the people around you.

Sometimes, we need to check our priorities. As grown-ups, we don’t always get what we want. Rent and utilities should be a priority. If you cannot pay your bills, cut out the extras. Smoking? An extra. Alcohol? An extra.

If we are not good to ourselves, who will be? This kind of goes back to priorities, but we know ourselves. Take care of yourself. Make sure that you are getting what you need. Take your meds, if you are depressed. Find ways to cope. Get counseling.

Remember who has had your back. I am very lucky to have a few people in the world that I know love me and are there when I need them. If you have people like that in your life, love them and treat them with respect. Don’t let a bad day ruin a good relationship.

And, there ya have it. Ornery Dame’s thoughts for the day. Obviously, I am all up in my feels. But, for what it is worth, as much as I hate that our relationship is probably ruined, I have realized just how lucky I really am. I hope that the other person gets their life on track and starts to appreciate what they have before it is too late.


Pictures for Christmas

As I was putting dates on my calendar this week, I realized that I do not have a free Saturday until December 20th. Needless to say, no free Saturdays does not thrill me, especially with the holidays coming up. I decided that I need to get my rear into gear.

In addition to not having a ton of time on my side this year, I also do not have a lot of money. I have too large of a family to just go out and throw caution to the wind. I started debating on what to do and while my Christmas list is far from done, I think I have taken care of a good part of my family just this morning.

A few weeks ago something crazy happened, we were able to get most of our family together. As we have gotten older, it has become quite the chore to get us all in one place. Somehow, with one random family cookout at my house, everyone showed up. Needless to say, my mom was thrilled and we decided to take advantage of the moment. We took pictures.

We were able to take pictures with each of my sibling’s family units with only one nephew missing. We took pictures of all of the siblings together and with my parents and my siblings. No Olin Mill’s for us. Our casual attire backyard photos are as good as we get. I decided that these would be the perfect gifts for each family, my parents, and my grandmother.

Yesterday, on my lunch break, I ventured into Ross where I was able to find boxed frame sets to make a gallery-ten frames for $10! I picked up two, one for myself and one to separate for gifts. I will likely go back for another today to ensure I have enough to give everyone. I figure I will do their individual family and then one with our parents/siblings to each of my siblings. I will give my parents a large picture of them with their kids, and then do a collage frame or gallery for them of each of their kids with their family and maybe sprinkle in a few random cute pics I have of grandkids.

I, personally, love Shutterfly and downloaded the pics onto their site where I was able to designate which sizes I wanted for each photo. I found a coupon code allowing for 30 free 4×6 prints which knocked down the price a little. Bing, bang, boom! My siblings/their spouses have a gift and so do my parents and grandmother. I will likely do more, but I at least have a start towards Christmas and at a reasonable price. I will likely end up with $30 in frames and around $15 in pictures with that covering six gifts; I think $7 a gift is pretty darn awesome!

Now, if only I can get so lucky with my kids’ Christmas gifts….


Breaking Down

I generally like the chaos that engulfs my existence. I really do. I thrive when I have a lot of stuff going on, so I am generally pretty happy with our crazy schedules. Eventually, though, it does catch up with me.

Really, life is good. Work is going alright. I am starting a new side business which will allow me to have some fun and make some extra money. The semester is almost over. The kids both have a lot of good stuff going on. Of course not everything is fabulous, I have my own stress; I am struggling a bit financially and trying to make adjustments. My household has some chaos due to changes taking place. I also have some stress that is not my own; I have been trying to help a family member that has been in the hospital.

Like I said, crap catches up with me eventually. Friday, I was irritated. I had plans. I planned on a few things. Nothing worked out. I rolled with the punches and did end up having an alright night, but I did not get the break I was hoping for. I figured I would get it on Saturday; no sweat.
Saturday, my kids had other plans. I thought I would just sneak out and visit my relative in the hospital. Then, I could have a little time to myself and finish shopping for my teen’s birthday. I had it all figured out. But the kids wanted to go with me to the hospital. No big deal. I still figured I could do the rest of the stuff I wanted. Nope. They wanted to go with me. The teen especially. She had been stood up for other plans and was very dramatic about how she just wanted to get out. Blah, blah, blah.

I didn’t feel like fighting. They got their way. Then they got to see their mother break down. It was not a terrible break down. Just some tears. I tried to explain why I was upset. I just needed a break. I had planned to use my break to get stuff for the teen. The very one that pitched the fit that sent me over the edge. My tears brought them to tears. It was not pretty.

I decompressed a bit when we finally got home, but there was work to be done. We were having company yesterday for the teen’s birthday. I jumped into the tasks at hand and remained on high alert trying to get stuff accomplished until the last person left yesterday. Then, it was time to get ready for another crazy week in paradise.

So, here I am. It is Monday and I am still frazzled. I am alright. Seriously, no need to put me in a padded room just yet. I just need to get out of this rut. I need a break. I need some fun in my life. I need something to look forward to. That is where I am right now; it is time to reevaluate and incorporate some fun. I need some goals to work towards that will make me happy.

Twitter Updates