Posts Tagged ‘onlinedating


Dating Chronicles:Staying Under the Radar

I have been trying to fly a little more under the radar lately. Honestly, I need to put myself under a self-inflicted house arrest until semester ends, but I am just not good without some socialization. That being said, my life has been somewhat entertaining.

The on again off again man is just that. It does not appear that things are going to move in the right direction any time soon. Honestly, I am okay with it given my other stuff. But, some progress would be nice. He disappeared for a bit and idle time is not my friend. During his absence, I made two new friends. I have not met either, but I am supposed to meet one that seems okay this week for lunch. If the on again off again ever decides to give it 100%, I will too. In the meantime, I want more and feel like I am doing myself a disservice possibly waiting for something that may never happen.

So the two that I am speaking with are interesting. One I am pretty sure desires only to be a fuckboy and I am not interested. The other seems to be a genuinely nice guy. Nice guys generally end up scaring me. Hey, I own my issues. Will see how it plays out. I am playing it safe. Plus side, I only have so much to give at the moment time wise and dude lives almost an hour away.

Gonna let things play out. If the two newest do not work out, I am done trying for a bit. I will make it through the remainder of the year without any new additions to the mix. Have decided to just let things play out with the on again off again as well. In the meantime, I still have stupid stuff popping up to entertain me. Here are a couple of the latest funnies:

  • I was deleted on Facebook by the guy that went crazy around last Christmas. We had dated a bit and then he got in a crazy funk, found solace in a bottle, and shortly after started seeing someone. He broke up with her, posted crazy stuff, and then deleted me. It was kinda like passing a car accident, I had to see what was up and checked his page the other day-he had married the crazy girl he talked trash about before deleting me. People never cease to amaze me.
  • The other crazy that I previously dated, the coke snorter, resurfaced last night sending me a Facebook message at 1am. Apparently he drove by my house and tooted his horn? I live on a busy street, I do not pay attention to that mess. I told him that I did not hear and he tried to start a conversation. He called me “babe.” Ugh. He is a nice enough guy, but no.

And with that, I should probably refocus my efforts for the day and get some work done. I will try to update later this week after the lunch date. Fingers crossed that he is not a major creeper!


Dating Chronicles: Ditched

Last week, I got bored and glanced at POF to see if there was anyone new and interesting. Much to my surprise, there was. One guy in particular caught my eye. We went to school together, although I am a couple of years younger, and have a few mutual friends. I always found him attractive. I have just never had the opportunity to introduce myself.

So I decided to reactivate my account and see if he would notice. He did and indicated wanting to connect, so we started to talk and he asked if I would like to meet for a drink.

Normally, making plans can take some finagling on my end, but we did not have a game last night, so I said sure. He is a single dad and had to get a sitter, so we planned to meet up after she arrived. We were going to meet at 8. It ended up being closer to 9 because his sitter was late, yadda, yadda, yadda. As a single parent, I let it slide. Been there done. Done that. Still it kind of set the tone for the evening…

We met at a bar that is close to both of our homes. We share some small talk and then he asks if he can tell me something. Of course, I agree. “You look a lot thinner in your picture. That’s okay though, I like bigger girls.” Um, thanks? The picture is from December. I have gained a few lbs since then, but not that many. Way to boost my confidence there.

Apparently, according to my best friend, that should have been my cue to leave, but I stayed and we chatted for a good bit. I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was nervous. He was talking a lot and was loud. Nothing terrible, but opposite of me in those situations so it was a bit much.

After a while, some people that he knew came into the bar. They started chatting and, eventually, they ended up joining us. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation and was growing very bored. We had discussed going downtown for a bit, I asked if he still wanted to go, and we made our exit.

The first bar we went to downtown is one that I actually enjoy. There was a good band. I was told that I had to try a particular mixed drink which was actually pretty awesome. My date went out to smoke and ended up being gone for a very long time. I actually started to wonder if he left. I was pretty much over it and ready to go home when he came in and apologized. He had run into someone he knew. He asked if I wanted to go to another bar because I had mentioned never going to that particular one before.

Bar three was okay. We were able to talk some more. I started to think that the guy might not be terrible. He shared that I was his first date in sixteen years which explained a bit of the awkwardness and nervousness. I had just about resigned that he was not a lost cause. We were preparing to leave when I ran to the restroom. I came back and he was not at the table.

I thought it was odd, but I just assumed he had stepped outside to smoke. I went out the front door and he was not there. I thought maybe he had gone to the restroom. I sent him a text to say I was outside.

A couple of minutes pass and I got a text from my date. He had left. In the short time that I was in the restroom, he said his sitter called and he needed to take his son to the emergency room because of an infection. It just so happened that there was an Uber waiting outside of the bar (how convenient), so he just hopped in and ditched me. DITCHED ME!

Now, I think this needs to be said. I am a parent. If there was something life or death, sure I would jet. This was a teenager. It was not life or death. He could have waited a minute and told me what was up.

So, back to the story. Seriously. He ditched me. Thankfully, I had driven us and my car was parked by the first bar downtown we had gone to. However, that meant I had to walk alone, in the dark, downtown back to where it was parked. I do not like walking home alone in my own neighborhood from my homebar at night. Dangerous shit happens, even in Roanoke. Not beuno. Needless to say I was shocked. It was such a crappy thing to do that I had to laugh. Who does that?!

I woke up this morning to a text from him that pretty much outlined everything that was not good last night. The guy acknowledged being a mess, said he knew his chances were slim, but that he really liked me and thinks I am beautiful. Yay, I am beautiful even if I am fatter than the picture he saw initially. Go me! Ugh.

So that was that. Have not responded to the text. Pretty sure that I am not going to even though that is generally not my nature. I keep replaying the events of the evening and just don’t even know how to process. I just do not even know what to say in response to all of that. I am still in shock and offended at how it all went down.


Dating Chronicles: Time for a List

Not too long ago when I was in a mood, recovering from a bad dating experience, I consulted a wise friend. She gets it. She is a single mom and has struggled with relationships. Obviously, no relationship is perfect, but she has found one that works for her.

As we talked she said that she heard a story about a woman that wrote everything she wanted down and tucked it away. The woman prayed on it, worked on herself, and eventually found someone. Later, looking at the list, she realized that it was exactly what she wanted.

Yeah, sappy. And anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I am not a holy roller. I believe in the power of prayer, sure, but that is a bit much for me.

Regardless, it has me thinking. I do not really know what I am looking for. This is obvious when you look at my dating life. I started to reinstate some dating profiles, but it doesn’t seem right to bother until I have an idea of what I want. Not saying I won’t randomly get bored and try again before I figure it out, but I should probably have an idea of what I desire.

So that is where I am at, today. Maybe I need a list. Probably need a stiff drink more, but maybe I need a list…


Dating Chronicles: A Texting Lesson

It has been a bit since I posted anything about my dating life because…well, I have not been dating. I have been on a mini strike. Obviously, I have a short attention span and it will not last for long, but I am kind of over people these days especially the lovely guys from POF.

Once upon a time, I was actively searching and came across a somewhat attractive guy. He was very proud of his physique. We started talking on POF, then moved to text, and eventually I added him to Facebook. I can only assume he did not like what he saw on Facebook because, from there, I was ghosted. Whatever, dude. If you cannot handle all this awesome, your loss. Honestly, I had forgotten about him until I heard from him yesterday…

Below you will see our actual correspondence. Obviously, dude had me confused with another girl. I even told him that he had ghosted me. I guess I could have spelled it out more and I probably would have I had not been working when most of them came through, but when the second picture came through I was done. Not sure he ever realized I was not “The One” but he did eventually quit texting me.

Today’s Lessons:

  1. Make sure you notate numbers in your phone or maybe delete the numbers when you are not interested in a girl.
  2. If you do not adhere to the first lesson, make sure you verify the identity of your recipient before sending pictures.
  3. Do not send unsolicited dick pics. Ever. Really.

Dating Chronicles-Taking a Breather

It has been a bit since I wrote about my love life. Honestly, there really is not a lot to say. It is pretty darn sad.

It has been about a month since my last date. It was a second date and went very well, I thought. The guy was going to have surgery a few days later, so I figured that it would be a while before I heard from him again. I reached out a couple of times just to be nice and check in on him. I feel like it might have been too much, but I was really just trying to be nice and would have done that for anyone. Regardless, I liked the guy and was cool with whatever, but have not heard from him other than he commented on a Facebook post I put up a week or two ago. Lame. Not holding my breath for anything to come of it, but if he resurfaces once he is fully healed, we can see.

Other than that, I have tried my hand at online dating again a couple of times. I put my profile up, get a few emails, get completely disgusted with the opposite sex, and take it down again. I have had a few that seemed to be interesting, but they have not gone anywhere. It really seems like everyone is after sex which I enjoy, but I want more. I deleted one account permanently last night and removed the app that allowed me fast access to the other. I think it is time to go back to the old fashioned way of doing things for a bit.

In the midst of all of this, I have come to realize that I have a pretty funny circle of guys in my life that keep me in check. I make some very random friends. I adopted a 26 year old, dread-headed hottie at the bar-totally friend zoned. I have my 37 year old pretty boy that my best friend dated and we have kept around. And my younger brother; he is definitely my most honest confidant. So maybe I am not lucky enough to be in a relationship with a hottie of my own, but I can have anywhere from one to three guys with me on any given night. Who’s winning here? Haha.

So there you have it. This girl is taking a break; it is time. There is just too much going on and stressing over this mess is not worth it. I am letting whatever happens happen and enjoying the life I have with the people that love, or at least like, me.


Dating Chronicles-No Fireworks

In all of my chaos over the last couple of weeks, I really hadn’t given much thought to one of the guys that had been talking to me. Eric that I went out with once last summer resurfaced again a few weeks ago. Not that resurfacing means much since he is the most unresponsive person ever.

We hit it off okay last year but I got frustrated when he quit responding to texts. He was never great at responding, but we had plans that I thought were cancelled since he disappeared. When he finally resurfaced, I had made other plans and wrote him off.

Dude has resurfaced a couple of times on POF. The first time not remembering me and then again a few weeks ago with a lame line about seeing something that made him think of me. I guess I was in a good mood because I actually tried to carry on a conversation with the guy. He had my number and has sent a few text messages over the last few weeks. It is lame. Lamer than lame. I hate small talk. Especially when you aren’t going to respond for hours or even days after starting a conversation.

Last Sunday, Eric decided to text me and was actually pretty responsive all day. I was home doing yard work and he was in my part of town. He asked if he could bring me anything which was a nice gesture, but no. Hadn’t seen him in a year and I was a hot and sweaty mess. Not to mention my kids were home. Just weird.

Eric texted a couple of times over the last week but nothing earth shattering. I sent him a message Thursday or Friday because I was going to be in his part of town for an event that I thought he would be at. He never responded until this morning when he asked about the event and what I was doing today.

Today, I was volunteering at a fireworks stand for my kids’ high school band program which I told him. Later, once I was there, he asked where we were which I thought was odd, but whatever.

Then he showed up. Really, not a big deal initially. I would have preferred him ask since my daughter was there and I generally do not introduce people to my kids. We chit chatted a bit, but I had nothing really to talk about.

He stayed for two hours. Two long, awkward hours. My daughter was getting more and more obnoxious because she wanted him to go. I could not spite her for it. She was not rude and really was not much worse than usual. The other mom didn’t know what to think; pretty sure she knew something was not right, but what do you do?

There were no fireworks purchased or felt this afternoon.

It was nice of the guy to show some interest and come see me. He has had over a year to take some interest. He has never asked me out or tried to even carry on a conversation for any length of time. To just show up was odd to me.

Eric is a nice guy and it was good to see him, but definitely not right for me. Seeing him again today just confirms it. Hopefully, he will disappear again and save me from having to have an awkward conversation. I guess time will tell.


Everything Happens for a Reason

I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Sure, some things happen because you are just dumb. Well, in my case a lot of things happen because I am dumb, but still…everything happens for a reason.

The last few weeks have really made me wonder about that idea. It is a nice thought. Maybe dating the coke head was supposed to happen. Perhaps hearing my story will make him think and change his ways. Maybe. Not holding my breath in the meantime, though.

In keeping with the “everything happens for a reason” bit, I had some very odd things happen since my dating drama. It all started because, as usual, I reactivated my POF account in a moment of drunken weakness-I drank away my sorrows following the bad night where I realized the guy I was seeing was a coke head. I vaguely remember doing so, but honestly thought I hid it again moments later. Apparently, I did not.

The next morning, I had my usual mix of crazies wanting to talk and, in the mix, was a familiar face. A few months ago I turned down the opportunity to go home with a pretty good looking guy at the bar and hadn’t seen him since. I was actually disappointed for a while that we did not run into each other again and he did not look me up; I thought he was pretty cool. Anyways, dude found me! Apparently he was “impressed” by me the night we met (perhaps because I kept my pants on?) and wants to get together sometime soon.

Really, that sounds way better than it really is. I am not going to romanticize the situation. He still wants in my pants. This time, I am a bit more okay with it. I am by no means a saint, but I generally am a good girl. The idea of it all is pretty intriguing to me. Does not hurt that I find him pretty damn attractive.

For now, I just wait and see what happens next. The optimist in me is pretty excited and is hoping for more, but the realist in me is okay with whatever. Regardless, it is flattering and a nice distraction from obsessing over what the heck I am doing wrong in my life that gives off a vibe attracting coke heads. So, fingers crossed that this does not end up being another train wreck!  Screenshot_2016-06-20-23-48-19-1

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