Posts Tagged ‘relationships

27
Mar
17

Dating Chronicles: I cancelled

I cancelled.

Last Friday, for the first time in almost two months I had a date planned. He seemed nice enough. Normal enough.

I cancelled.

I really thought I was interested. I was on spring break and bored, so I started online dating again. He was kind of cute, decent personality, and I thought it might be worth exploring I agreed to a date and we planned a week out.

Initially, I was excited. He seemed really nice and into me. Honestly, those things have not changed. However, my interest started to decrease quickly as the date approached for a few reasons…

  1. He wanted to talk on the phone. A lot. I talk on the phone for a living and my evenings are full. I have no interest in chatting it up with someone on the phone.
  2. Conversations when we did talk were one sided. This could be partially because I hate talking, but omg try to engage the other person.
  3. He was pushy. We had not met and he was already talking about second dates and asking what I was really looking for down the road
  4. He still had up pictures of his ex on social media (I did not stalk to find this, but noticed after adding him)
  5. He social media stalked me

None of these were huge issues, but compiled, I just got a bad vibe. On top of already feeling ill, he was just too much.

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24
Sep
16

Dating Chronicles: Ditched

Last week, I got bored and glanced at POF to see if there was anyone new and interesting. Much to my surprise, there was. One guy in particular caught my eye. We went to school together, although I am a couple of years younger, and have a few mutual friends. I always found him attractive. I have just never had the opportunity to introduce myself.

So I decided to reactivate my account and see if he would notice. He did and indicated wanting to connect, so we started to talk and he asked if I would like to meet for a drink.

Normally, making plans can take some finagling on my end, but we did not have a game last night, so I said sure. He is a single dad and had to get a sitter, so we planned to meet up after she arrived. We were going to meet at 8. It ended up being closer to 9 because his sitter was late, yadda, yadda, yadda. As a single parent, I let it slide. Been there done. Done that. Still it kind of set the tone for the evening…

We met at a bar that is close to both of our homes. We share some small talk and then he asks if he can tell me something. Of course, I agree. “You look a lot thinner in your picture. That’s okay though, I like bigger girls.” Um, thanks? The picture is from December. I have gained a few lbs since then, but not that many. Way to boost my confidence there.

Apparently, according to my best friend, that should have been my cue to leave, but I stayed and we chatted for a good bit. I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was nervous. He was talking a lot and was loud. Nothing terrible, but opposite of me in those situations so it was a bit much.

After a while, some people that he knew came into the bar. They started chatting and, eventually, they ended up joining us. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation and was growing very bored. We had discussed going downtown for a bit, I asked if he still wanted to go, and we made our exit.

The first bar we went to downtown is one that I actually enjoy. There was a good band. I was told that I had to try a particular mixed drink which was actually pretty awesome. My date went out to smoke and ended up being gone for a very long time. I actually started to wonder if he left. I was pretty much over it and ready to go home when he came in and apologized. He had run into someone he knew. He asked if I wanted to go to another bar because I had mentioned never going to that particular one before.

Bar three was okay. We were able to talk some more. I started to think that the guy might not be terrible. He shared that I was his first date in sixteen years which explained a bit of the awkwardness and nervousness. I had just about resigned that he was not a lost cause. We were preparing to leave when I ran to the restroom. I came back and he was not at the table.

I thought it was odd, but I just assumed he had stepped outside to smoke. I went out the front door and he was not there. I thought maybe he had gone to the restroom. I sent him a text to say I was outside.

A couple of minutes pass and I got a text from my date. He had left. In the short time that I was in the restroom, he said his sitter called and he needed to take his son to the emergency room because of an infection. It just so happened that there was an Uber waiting outside of the bar (how convenient), so he just hopped in and ditched me. DITCHED ME!

Now, I think this needs to be said. I am a parent. If there was something life or death, sure I would jet. This was a teenager. It was not life or death. He could have waited a minute and told me what was up.

So, back to the story. Seriously. He ditched me. Thankfully, I had driven us and my car was parked by the first bar downtown we had gone to. However, that meant I had to walk alone, in the dark, downtown back to where it was parked. I do not like walking home alone in my own neighborhood from my homebar at night. Dangerous shit happens, even in Roanoke. Not beuno. Needless to say I was shocked. It was such a crappy thing to do that I had to laugh. Who does that?!

I woke up this morning to a text from him that pretty much outlined everything that was not good last night. The guy acknowledged being a mess, said he knew his chances were slim, but that he really liked me and thinks I am beautiful. Yay, I am beautiful even if I am fatter than the picture he saw initially. Go me! Ugh.

So that was that. Have not responded to the text. Pretty sure that I am not going to even though that is generally not my nature. I keep replaying the events of the evening and just don’t even know how to process. I just do not even know what to say in response to all of that. I am still in shock and offended at how it all went down.

22
Sep
16

Dating Chronicles: Time for a List

Not too long ago when I was in a mood, recovering from a bad dating experience, I consulted a wise friend. She gets it. She is a single mom and has struggled with relationships. Obviously, no relationship is perfect, but she has found one that works for her.

As we talked she said that she heard a story about a woman that wrote everything she wanted down and tucked it away. The woman prayed on it, worked on herself, and eventually found someone. Later, looking at the list, she realized that it was exactly what she wanted.

Yeah, sappy. And anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I am not a holy roller. I believe in the power of prayer, sure, but that is a bit much for me.

Regardless, it has me thinking. I do not really know what I am looking for. This is obvious when you look at my dating life. I started to reinstate some dating profiles, but it doesn’t seem right to bother until I have an idea of what I want. Not saying I won’t randomly get bored and try again before I figure it out, but I should probably have an idea of what I desire.

So that is where I am at, today. Maybe I need a list. Probably need a stiff drink more, but maybe I need a list…

22
Sep
16

Dating Chronicles-The Moving Van

The last month has been a bit insane; luckily, most of it has not been my own drama, but my best friend’s. I have just tried to be supportive and helpful which I how I ended up with a moving van.

Long story short, my friend needed out of her apartment fast and thought she had an apartment to move into in a few days. Being essentially homeless, she needed a place to park her moving van. My driveway is empty and close to where the apartment she wanted is. We parked it for a couple of days.

I thought I would hear from someone about the van since I live on a very busy street and my circles all seem to migrate around this part of town. I was, however, surprised when the only one that contacted me was a blast from the past.

Really, I could have fallen out of my chair when I got the text, “U moving?” It was from an ex that I dated on and off for years. YEARS. He was in the picture when my ex died and on and off after that point for a few years. He was married, would leave, and go back. I was there on the sidelines waiting. I thought I was in love. I would have married him in a heartbeat. I finally realized that I wanted more and he was just not there. Last year, when I got out of my last disastrous relationship, I looked him up. We talked a bit, but he was still married; I moved on.

Things seemed different this time. A real separation. A new house. Clear lines that progress was made on his end. We met up and it was like old times. I got hopeful.

Hope is a dangerous thing. It almost always leads to disappointment. That is where I am at the moment. We were supposed to meet up Thursday, it did not work out. Friday, it did not work out. I had zero returned texts over the weekend-I texted twice, not a stalker. Then, Monday, he resurfaced and we made plans again which he cancelled.

So, the moving van got me laid, hopeful, and left me disappointed. I won’t reach out to him again. Not sure where he is at this point, but it obviously not nearly where I need him to be.

The moving van is gone now. So is the guy. Me? I am here wondering what the next disaster will look like.

13
Sep
16

Dating Chronicles: A Texting Lesson

It has been a bit since I posted anything about my dating life because…well, I have not been dating. I have been on a mini strike. Obviously, I have a short attention span and it will not last for long, but I am kind of over people these days especially the lovely guys from POF.

Once upon a time, I was actively searching and came across a somewhat attractive guy. He was very proud of his physique. We started talking on POF, then moved to text, and eventually I added him to Facebook. I can only assume he did not like what he saw on Facebook because, from there, I was ghosted. Whatever, dude. If you cannot handle all this awesome, your loss. Honestly, I had forgotten about him until I heard from him yesterday…

Below you will see our actual correspondence. Obviously, dude had me confused with another girl. I even told him that he had ghosted me. I guess I could have spelled it out more and I probably would have I had not been working when most of them came through, but when the second picture came through I was done. Not sure he ever realized I was not “The One” but he did eventually quit texting me.

Today’s Lessons:

  1. Make sure you notate numbers in your phone or maybe delete the numbers when you are not interested in a girl.
  2. If you do not adhere to the first lesson, make sure you verify the identity of your recipient before sending pictures.
  3. Do not send unsolicited dick pics. Ever. Really.
26
Aug
16

Warning: Crazy Lady

I lost my shit.

I would love to say that I have a great reason. I really don’t. It has been a mountain of things that piled up into one explosion of me yelling, slamming doors, cursing under my breath, and just being an all-around nasty person. I don’t even want to be around myself today.

I am just over it all this morning.

  • It is the first week of school. I have been fighting with the school constantly over my kids’ schedules with little to no response from their guidance counselor. Their last attempt made everything worse and, in turn, my youngest has been a royal pain.
  • It is my final week of classes, so assignments are due at midnight tonight. I was up until 1am writing a 16 page paper. I still have a test and business plan to do before midnight around work and our first football game.
  • My sleep schedule is off because one of my daughters was determined to take a zero period class
  • My house is a disaster and we have company coming over for dinner before the game tonight
  • No one has done anything that I have asked them to this week. At. All.
  • My dog stinks and refused to let my kid pick him up for a bath last night. His tail is mated. Grooming appointment next week, but in the meantime, he looks unkept.
  • I am menstrual

Funny how typing out all of my issues makes me just look crazier. Seriously, I need to take a chill pill.

19
Aug
16

Reflecting

Confession. I have not always had the best self-esteem. Hell, I still do not. But I have come to the realization over the last year or so that I am actually pretty darn awesome.

I work in a career that allows me to help people. I make a difference. Granted, I do not get to help as many people as I would wish, but I still make an impact. And I can always do more.

I am a good friend. I keep my circle small, but those in the inner circle know that I have their back.

I have a great family. Seriously. My siblings tell it like it is and encourage me to do better. My daughters are my reason for living and bonus are two of my closest friends/confidants (within reason). My parents and grandma love and support me and the girls. And I still have a huge network of my ex’s family that is involved not only my kids’ lives, but in mine as well.

I will probably never be a skinny girl. I was never the one the guys fell over and may never be, but I have come to realize that I am not as hideous as the old me once thought. I have good hair and eyes. I might be shaped like a potato, but I clean up okay. Hell, I am my own kind of hot in pinup.

Physically, I am strong. Stronger than I was a year ago, and continuing to get stronger each day. I have come to enjoy the gym not just because of the activity but because I am able to free my mind for a bit.

Spiritually, I am a little more at peace and I am comforted knowing that the big guy upstairs has my back.

Mentally, I still struggle some days with self-esteem issues. I have my good and bad days dealing with depression. I overthink and stress, but it never keeps me down for long.

I am far from perfect, but I do have a lot to be thankful for. I love this life that I have created for myself and that is constantly changing. I am a lucky girl.