Archive for June, 2016


3 Simple Words

I do not come from a very physically affectionate family. Hugs and kisses happened, but not like crazy. Now, there are times that I would not mind a hug, a kiss, or someone to tell me things are going to be okay. Being a grown up can be tough some days. But as such, I have come to appreciate what I have even more and I notice a lot more than I would otherwise.

I do have my own children that get hugs and kisses. They are teenagers now, so it is not as frequent, but they do not mind being all up on me and in my business. There is no lack of contact in my household-sometimes it is clawing, kicking, punching, licking, and whatnot, but there is definitely contact. Luckily, shortly after the negative, they will be doing each other’s hair or makeup, or be curled up in front of the tv laughing at a show together. They may hate me from time to time and each other even more often, but I know that they love me and, deep down, each other.

I have spent more time with my parents over the last few weeks. My dad is kind of old school, so there is not a lot of warm and fuzzies, hugs and kisses, etc. But he does show me that he is thinking about me, and my kids, through little random gifts and he always tells me that he loves me before I leave or we hang up the phone. I guess I appreciate that more since I know what it is like to not tell someone and they pass. Not totally sure that is not why he does it as well, but I love it regardless.

My sister and I have had a strained relationship over the last couple of months and I think we are finally on the mend. She told me she loved me at the end of our conversation last night. Made my night.

My brother said it at the end of our conversation yesterday, too.

I guess it might be a little silly and I might be PMSing. But I really do appreciate those three little words. Sometimes, they are the best thing that happens to me all day. Tell someone special how you feel today, it might make all the difference.


Getting Organized

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that life was getting crazy, but in a good way. Funny, but my household runs so much better when we are fully engulfed in activities and chaos. That being said, there are a few things that really do seem to help make life run a little smoother and there are a few things that I am considering adding to my organizational systems moving forward.

Current Systems:

Dry Erase Boards: I currently have two. One which has columns for each of us and rows for each day so that we can list our activities. The other is a to do board which I put chores and notes to the kids (their favorite-sarcasm, totally)

Google: I love my Google Calendar which I have two that are intertwined. One for work which is attached to scheduling software and the other which is for family/kid stuff. My other favorite Google app-Keep. I can create lists for EVERYTHING. Groceries? Homework? Errands? Karaoke songs? Gift ideas? Yep, chances are I have a list going.

Other: I am a creature of habit. Some things are just accepted in our house. Tuesday nights, we watch tv and I do laundry. Wednesday nights, we put cans out for Thursday pick up. Sundays, we play catch up.

New Introductions:

Car Organizer: I got a new car a couple of weeks ago and have just started to realize the lack of storage space in the console. I spend a lot of time in my car during the school year waiting on kids and doing homework. I am looking for an organizer that I can keep post-its, highlighters, pens, snacks, my coloring book and pencils-basically everything a three year old needs on a road trip because I am that mom.

An old school planner: I purchased an old school paper planner a week or two ago. Honestly, even with my current systems, I felt like I was floundering. There is something great about being able to write stuff down and mark things off. Not sure I am not in organization overkill, but giving it a try. My girls both got new planners, too.

Stocking my work lunch room: Trying this for the first time this week. I purchased my sodas (yeah, I should quit), frozen lunches, oatmeal, and snacks when I went shopping over the weekend. Now, I am not having to run out and take time away from my desk and I should save a bit-a winning situation.

Other good ideas that might eventually be implemented:

Planning outfits: I should be that girl. I am not. My mornings would run so much smoother. I might get there eventually.

Keeping a packed gym bag: This could easily happen. This should easily happen. It does from time to time, but I think if I kept one ready to go, I would sneak a workout in now and then during down times.

So that is where I am at the moment-in the midst of chaos, loving it, but preparing for when it gets worse or I just am not feeling it quite as much. Any ideas on other things I can do to prepare and keep life running smooth? What works for you?


Crazy Weeks Ahead

Last week ended on a fairly positive note. I had a very nice lunch date with a new guy Thursday. Friday, I had a pinup event and went to listen to a friend’s band play at a local bar. Saturday was spent volunteering for my kids’ school and Sunday was spent playing catch-up.

I am pretty excited about the next few weeks. I am going to be busy, busy, busy. I think that is a good thing for me since it keeps me from looking too far into things. As much as I would like for things to work out and a relationship to magically appear, I am probably better off doing me and letting things fall where they will.

All that being said, the next few weeks are crazy. I am hoping that I can make magic happen while I am in the office so that the boss man does not get too irritated. My kids have me coming and going from the office pretty much daily for extended periods of time. I have one doing hours upon hours at the fireworks stand, we have dance classes, viola lessons, visits to nana, a music enrichment program, a road trip, and a birthday-and that is just for them the first half of July. Whew!

In the midst of all that commotion, I have a round of classes wrapping up next Friday and the next round beginning the following Monday. Not so sure taking two classes was my best idea ever, but we will see. And I am determined that I should get to have some fun in the mix, so we will see where I fit that in. Perhaps something with the lunch date guy from last week or Justin…not really holding my breath.

So that is my update for life at the moment. Lots of good stuff happening. Pretty excited to have a full schedule again and get back into something resembling a routine. Next week, I might be complaining about the crazy, but for now, it suits me just fine.



Dating Chronicles-No Fireworks

In all of my chaos over the last couple of weeks, I really hadn’t given much thought to one of the guys that had been talking to me. Eric that I went out with once last summer resurfaced again a few weeks ago. Not that resurfacing means much since he is the most unresponsive person ever.

We hit it off okay last year but I got frustrated when he quit responding to texts. He was never great at responding, but we had plans that I thought were cancelled since he disappeared. When he finally resurfaced, I had made other plans and wrote him off.

Dude has resurfaced a couple of times on POF. The first time not remembering me and then again a few weeks ago with a lame line about seeing something that made him think of me. I guess I was in a good mood because I actually tried to carry on a conversation with the guy. He had my number and has sent a few text messages over the last few weeks. It is lame. Lamer than lame. I hate small talk. Especially when you aren’t going to respond for hours or even days after starting a conversation.

Last Sunday, Eric decided to text me and was actually pretty responsive all day. I was home doing yard work and he was in my part of town. He asked if he could bring me anything which was a nice gesture, but no. Hadn’t seen him in a year and I was a hot and sweaty mess. Not to mention my kids were home. Just weird.

Eric texted a couple of times over the last week but nothing earth shattering. I sent him a message Thursday or Friday because I was going to be in his part of town for an event that I thought he would be at. He never responded until this morning when he asked about the event and what I was doing today.

Today, I was volunteering at a fireworks stand for my kids’ high school band program which I told him. Later, once I was there, he asked where we were which I thought was odd, but whatever.

Then he showed up. Really, not a big deal initially. I would have preferred him ask since my daughter was there and I generally do not introduce people to my kids. We chit chatted a bit, but I had nothing really to talk about.

He stayed for two hours. Two long, awkward hours. My daughter was getting more and more obnoxious because she wanted him to go. I could not spite her for it. She was not rude and really was not much worse than usual. The other mom didn’t know what to think; pretty sure she knew something was not right, but what do you do?

There were no fireworks purchased or felt this afternoon.

It was nice of the guy to show some interest and come see me. He has had over a year to take some interest. He has never asked me out or tried to even carry on a conversation for any length of time. To just show up was odd to me.

Eric is a nice guy and it was good to see him, but definitely not right for me. Seeing him again today just confirms it. Hopefully, he will disappear again and save me from having to have an awkward conversation. I guess time will tell.


Everything Happens for a Reason

I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Sure, some things happen because you are just dumb. Well, in my case a lot of things happen because I am dumb, but still…everything happens for a reason.

The last few weeks have really made me wonder about that idea. It is a nice thought. Maybe dating the coke head was supposed to happen. Perhaps hearing my story will make him think and change his ways. Maybe. Not holding my breath in the meantime, though.

In keeping with the “everything happens for a reason” bit, I had some very odd things happen since my dating drama. It all started because, as usual, I reactivated my POF account in a moment of drunken weakness-I drank away my sorrows following the bad night where I realized the guy I was seeing was a coke head. I vaguely remember doing so, but honestly thought I hid it again moments later. Apparently, I did not.

The next morning, I had my usual mix of crazies wanting to talk and, in the mix, was a familiar face. A few months ago I turned down the opportunity to go home with a pretty good looking guy at the bar and hadn’t seen him since. I was actually disappointed for a while that we did not run into each other again and he did not look me up; I thought he was pretty cool. Anyways, dude found me! Apparently he was “impressed” by me the night we met (perhaps because I kept my pants on?) and wants to get together sometime soon.

Really, that sounds way better than it really is. I am not going to romanticize the situation. He still wants in my pants. This time, I am a bit more okay with it. I am by no means a saint, but I generally am a good girl. The idea of it all is pretty intriguing to me. Does not hurt that I find him pretty damn attractive.

For now, I just wait and see what happens next. The optimist in me is pretty excited and is hoping for more, but the realist in me is okay with whatever. Regardless, it is flattering and a nice distraction from obsessing over what the heck I am doing wrong in my life that gives off a vibe attracting coke heads. So, fingers crossed that this does not end up being another train wreck!  Screenshot_2016-06-20-23-48-19-1


Dating Chronicles-Cocaine Edition

Time for another chapter in my dating chronicles. Yes, another chapter has officially ended. It was a great two weeks (note some sarcasm).

Luckily, since this whirlwind romance lasted only two weeks, this might not be a terribly long post. I met this one, Manny, on Plenty of Fish, but he had apparently tried to contact me through Tinder which I had cut off about as fast as I turned it on so I did not see his interest. We chatted a bit and hit it off.

The first date with this one went well, we went to dinner and then went our separate ways. I liked him, but could not put my finger on what my hesitation was. I chalked it up to it being new.

We continued to talk and decided to go out again last weekend. The second date went much better. We hit it off very well. We had dinner and drinks out and went back to his house to watch tv. It was a very nice, low key evening. We saw each other again on Wednesday and made plans for Friday.

Throughout the entire time we had been speaking, there was a hesitation on my part which I initially thought was just nerves because we were essentially strangers. Then I started to think that is had something to do with his reminding me of my ex.  Really, that is not a bad thing, but it was just a little unsettling. Personality wise, they were very similar. Both had a laid back, devil may care kind of attitude. They were both very social and liked to party.

Manny liked to party. He owned it initially when we talked he said something about it and said “probably too much.” I feel that way myself sometimes, so I initially brushed it off. He didn’t seem too bad when we were out on our dates. I figured we were in the same boat.

Friday came and we were going to do something. He messaged me towards the end of the day and said, “Lets get drunk.” He had a rough week. I told him that it would be a while before I could do anything and to start without me. I figured that I would drive if we went anywhere, but was cool just hanging out at his house and having a drink or two if that was what happened.

I got to his house around 9. I knocked, but he did not hear, so I let myself in. Music was blaring. I found him propped up by his kitchen door looking out at a guy mowing his backyard. He was propped up because he could barely stand he was so drunk. I still do not know what he was trying to tell me because he was unable to initially form sentences.

The guy mowing came inside and the three of us chat for a minute (by this time he was able to speak coherently). Then, the guy that had been mowing says he wants to snort a line. They had cocaine out in the open on the counter in the kitchen. I guess I was so confused initially that I did not notice. He did a line in front of me. I was completely shocked. I guess he saw the look on my face because he asked if I did anything which I said no. He, then, goes outside to smoke.

Manny approached me after his friend went out and leaned in for a kiss. I stopped him and said that I could not be around what they were doing and was not going to stay. He offered to walk me out and I said for him not to bother considering how hard it was for him to stand and told him to be careful.

I got in my car and left still in shock at the night’s events. I called my best friend and rehashed the story. I guess it was at that point that my nerves started to get the best of me and I started gagging going down the road.

I didn’t hear from Manny again until late yesterday when he messaged me to say he was sorry and that he had too much to drink. I seriously doubt that it was just drinking that got him to the state he was in and I honestly do not know if he remembers that I saw witnessed the cocaine use. I just said it was fine and went on about my business.

I am seriously disappointed in this one. He is a nice guy and has a lot that could be going for him. I nailed it when I knew something reminded me of my ex; he was that guy too. He is six feet under now because of bad decisions. I cannot go through that again. Even if it never came to that, I would always worry and wonder. That is no way to live.

So, there you have it. Another chapter of this girl’s dating chronicles has been completed. Thank goodness all of this happened early on and that my gut instinct kept me a little guarded. Now, onto the next big mistake.



Nothing Ventured

Last night was date number two with the latest guy. The first happened a week ago Saturday. Immediately following the first date I went to my best friend and voiced my concerns. Nothing was a major deal breaker, but I had some concerns. She was very good at making me reconsider how I was looking at things.

Now, I do feel like, for the most part, my initial concerns were nothing major. I feel like I might have initially judged too harshly. Maybe. Still not completely sold.

We kept talking and I do feel better thanks to the conversations which led us to last night. Date number 2 went much better. We had a nice dinner and went to get a drink at the home bar. Still not sure that was my best plan for us, but it happened. While we were there he got more and more touchy. I am not a PDA girl and we had not even kissed up to that point, so I was out of my element. Apparently it was noticeable to those that knew me at the bar because the KJ actually decided to chat with me about it when I went up to put in a request.

The KJ rocks and apparently knows me better than I thought. During our brief chat, he said that my date was definitely into me (obviously given how he would not stop touching me). He commented on my not seeming as into it and told me to remember that not every guy is the same so maybe those little flags that keep popping up need to not be given a lot of weight. Pretty much what my best friend said the week prior.

Apparently, I need to stop looking for the flags and try to give people a fighting chance. Honestly, still completely unsure of how interested I am in this guy, but willing to ride it out and see if something develops. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Right?

Twitter Updates

  • RT @ScaryMommy: We are all struggling in some way: Financially. In our marriages. To get pregnant. To take care of our families. With our i… 1 week ago
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