Bucket List: Strip Show

Last night, I was able to knock another item off my bucket list. The item: going to a strip club/show.

Honestly, I had forgotten that the item was on my bucket list until today. I was pleasantly surprised that I could knock it off; I mentioned that it was a bucket list item to my sister and she said it was on hers as well which I thought was cool.

So, I thought I would give you guys a bit of insight into my experience. I can say in somewhat certainty that I will not be attending another event like that again. Well, that might not be true, I should probably check out one more to really be able to compare, but we will see.

The event I attended last night was at a local bar. It was a place that I have never been, so I was excited 1. Go see the event and 2. Check out the bar.  I purchased the tickets online after seeing a Facebook post about the event. I was surprised that my mom and sister agreed to go and purchased the tickets quickly so they could not change their minds.

A few things that I learned prior to the event:

1. Purchasing in advance is not the way to go; Groupon ran a deal on tickets weeks after I purchased ours.
2. Scoping it out ahead of time a little would have gotten us closer seats, although I am not sure we would have wanted them.

When we got to the event, I was a little disappointed, the venue was much smaller than I expected. The show was also. Another thing I should have done was really look into the show. The group we saw had three strippers. Three. They were not that great. Two chocolate and one caramel. My mom mentioned it would be nice if they had more of a mix initially because two were younger. The third was older and not great either. All had good bodies, but ehhh otherwise. The older one needed a haircut, in my opinion. Of course, the rest of the ladies did not seem to mind any of this, so maybe it was just us.

So, fast forward a bit, and the event begins. Cheesiest music ever. Even cheesier choreography. My sister at one point turned around and asked, “Do they choreograph themselves? WTH?”

Then, they started bringing ladies up on stage. Some paid prior to the event to participate. Another learning moment: do not pay in advance. After the show started, they announced there would be more opportunities and that you could get on stage for $20. When that did not get a great response, they knocked it to $20 gets you and a friend on stage…. You know it is a classy show when you can get a $10 lap dance.

In all actuality, I did have fun. It was fun for me watching the people on stage act like fools. It was even more fun watching my mother who does not drink or get out often (my dad is unaware of where we were). I managed to get her to try a sip of my Angry Orchard which she did not like. I was also fortunate enough to witness my mother interact with a stripper…

The stripper might have been 25 which is the same age as my younger brother/sister. The gentleman had a very nice, smooth body and smile. He sauntered over to my mother and begins to gyrate on her lap. My sister was looking on in awe as I am laughing and trying to encourage my mother to play along. Her response, “I am old enough to be your mother. Shoo. Move along.” And she did the “shoo” hand motion. I almost cried laughing.

We stayed at the show for about two hours and I am fairly confident that those that remained had one heck of a night. I had fun, but think I would rather put the money that I put in the ticket to better use enjoying a concert or another activity next time.

Vacation Brain

Twenty days from now, I will be on a boat headed towards the Bahamas.  Not that I am counting or anything.  Who am I kidding?  The cruise is about the only thing I have to look forward to lately, so I am all about it.

Setting sail in February would usually not be my first choice, but the rates were decent and we had family going.  Now that we are in the home stretch I have so much on my mind! So much to do, things to get, errands to run.  Ugh. I am a list maker and brain dumping is therapeutic, so you lucky readers get a blog post out of the deal.  Here are just a few of the things that I need to do, buy, etc before we set sail.

1. I need a haircut. Sure, not a necessity for the trip itself, but omg it is time. Thinking a good four inches will be coming off-possibly as soon as this weekend.  Debating on highlights and low lights, too.  If I do it all, it will probably not be this weekend, so we will see.
2. Pick up my bathing suit. I finally ordered a swim suit.  I bought one which I think will be good, but wanted a second because the first has mesh and I am afraid that it won’t last very long.  I do not want to be on a boat without a swimsuit, so I ordered one from Lane Bryant.  It is a bikini.  I know, right?  Who am I?  Hopefully it will fit and my girls will not be traumatized.  Related topic:  the thirteen year old needs a second swimsuit.
3. I need to get a base tan going. I have tanning with my gym package.  I just need to do it.  For some reason, I have a huge mental block there.
4. It is past time for a pedicure. Enough said.
5. Eye doctor. Another not necessity, but it kinda is.  I have been wearing glasses all week because my contacts are irritating the devil out of my eyes.  I want contacts.  Gotta make that happen.
6. I need to check my old stuff, but I am pretty sure I need to buy a new suitcase. We will see.  Not crazy about the expense.
7. I am a redhead.  Kid number one: redhead.  I think that says it all.
8. Reading material. I think we are going to have to go sans electronics.  Not interested in paying for whatever roaming charges we would get.  Purchased Wheat Belly.  Think I will try to read and get ready to diet hardcore when I get back since car show season is right around the corner.  Might need a couple of smutty romance novels.
9. We are down to two pets-woohoo! Hopefully, weather will cooperate and I can get them to my mom’s the day before we set sail. Gotta make sure they have everything they will need and my mom has instructions.  Fingers crossed that my boy behaves!
10. I am not buying alcohol on the trip and this is with my ex’s family.  For the most part, I am not worried, but still want something to take the edge off if I need it.

Obviously, packing is not on my list.  I think I have that covered.  What am I forgetting?  Thoughts?

 

The Bucket List

Last year after my break-up, I realized something. I put my life on hold in my last relationship. I did not want to share my aspirations with the guy ( never a good sign). I put things on hold until we were over.  Getting out of the relationship has been empowering. I am living the life I want now, working towards goals, and having a great time.  

I created my Bucket List last year. It is an ever changing list of random things I want to do.  A few things have already been done or are in process (italicized). I try to keep my list attainable and, for the most part, I believe it is. I am always looking for new ideas for things to add, so hit me up if you have anything that you think I should consider!

Bucket List

1. Tattoo
2. Lose Weight
3. Willie Nelson
4. Learn to play the banjo
5. Bachelors Degree
6. Zipline
7. Parasail
8. Whitewater rafting
9. Go on a cruise
10. Dance on a bar
11. Attend a black tie event
12. Pole dance
13. Wear a bikini
14. Las Vegas
15. Have a wedding
16. Have a wild bachelorette party
17. Fall in love
18. Ride a motorcycle
19. Ride roller coasters
20. 12 minute mile
21. Elton John
22. Boudoir photos
23. Sister tattoos
24. Attend a drag show
25. Visit a strip club
26. Sleep in a caboose
27. Ride a mechanical bull
28. Mexico
29. Learn to bar tend
30. Learn to drive a stick shift
31. ???

Acting Like a Fool

Life gets crazy, so I do not always have time to make myself happy. I take my kicks where I can get them. Most days, that is my commute.

So what do I do? I act like a fool. I blare my music and I sing along. I dance like a fool. I catch up with my mom and grandma on the phone. I may, or may not, talk to myself on occasion. Yeah, I am generally one of those people that doesn’t realize that other people can see me when I am in my vehicle.

My guilty pleasure? I am addicted to Craigslist’s Missed Connections. It amuses me and I have actually found posts for individuals that I know which makes it even better. Thanks to my cell phone, I can look at them whenever I get bored. The other afternoon, I was playing online while at work when I found one for myself.

Black jeep with the redhead inside
Seen you the other morning and would like to talk, made my heart skip a beat 🙂 email me back. Love that commander by the way it’s flashy haha -James ,hope to hear from you

Needless to say, it cracked me up. I am very flattered. I am also a little creeped out. Not really in a bad way, but it is a little unnerving that I was completely oblivious to someone watching me. It is hard to tell what this man saw me doing. Glad he liked what he saw, but I think I may need to cool it a little on my commute.

Introducing: Maybelle

After learning the hard way last year that a vacation home was out of the question, I decided to reevaluate my wants/needs and became fixated on another way to get away and have my own space. I decided I wanted a camper. It is the best of both worlds-a vacation home and it is mobile. I can go anywhere!

Great idea, I know. I am full of those. Ha!

So, for the last few months, I have been diligently scouring the internet looking for a great deal on a camper. I decided that, like with most things, I wanted a vintage model. I have a love for Airstreams. However, I quickly became infatuated with older Scotty and Shasta models.

Little did I know when I started my search that everyone else would have the same idea. It is a cutthroat world when you are looking for a vintage camper these days! However, I did eventually get lucky and I came across a 1968 Frolic on a local Facebook yard sale page. Larry and I went within hours of it being posted and I purchased her the same day.

I decided to name her Maybelle.

Maybelle came home a couple of days after our initial purchase thanks to screwy schedules. She is now resting happily in my driveway waiting for our adventures to begin. First, though, we have some work to do. Maybelle needs some restoration work, some decorating, and I need to learn how to pull a camper. I may also need a new vehicle thanks to my car’s high mileage.

I am going to try to document our progress with the renovations/remodel as we go. Unfortunately, I have not been the best with taking pictures, but I am going to attach a couple of before pictures. Wish us luck!

Staycation Planning

Despite my good intentions to have a kick butt summer, and the fact today is actually the first day of summer, my kids’ summer vacation is speeding by!  Really, they are okay with it.  They have had trips, camps, and fun while I worked the days away.

It really seems like my burn out and need for a summer vacation really takes hold in the afternoon.  I hit my slump and start hating life.  I daydream of other places to be and I am just unproductive.  Case and point, I am typing this at 2:40pm at work.  Shh, don’t tell.

So, I finally bit the bullet and marked my vacation on the calendar.  The week after next, I am taking a week.  I will still do some work checking in periodically, but I will have freedom!  Unfortunately, money is tight, as always.  Chances are, we will stay close to home.  But I am pretty excited.

This afternoon, I am trying to think of awesome things to do while I am off of work.  I am sure that there will be laying by the pool.  I have coupons for putt-putt.  I figure we will have to do a little shopping-very early for back to school, but while we have the time I should take advantage.  I am considering tubing, but not crazy about doing it without other adults so that may need to wait for a weekend.

I would really like to have some fun things planned; what are some of your favorite things to do this time of year?

Trying To Survive The Workday

Today, WB stayed home. This means that I have no one to talk to. On the plus side, I have been pretty productive. On the negative, I have no one to talk to.

Because I am going slightly crazy without anyone to talk to, I am going to just let you know about a few of the random things that are on my mind today. They are in no particular order, but these are pressing issues for me (well, sort of).

1. I really want to join the gym. Planet Fitness is having a good deal; $10 to join and $10 a month. This has been on my to-do list for months now and I think I will finally do it this weekend!
2. I am seriously considering taking banjo lessons. I found a place that teaches, but it is ridiculously far from my home. I am going to have to do some research. I wanna be “pickin’ and grinnin’” soon!
3. Memorial Day Weekend. Thanks to some poor planning, we have no plans. I am torn on what to do, but I am now determined to do something. There are a few fun things going on, so now I have to decide if I want to stay local and do something or if I want to camp/take a trip somewhere.
4. I really need a haircut. My split ends are horrible.
5. Pretty sure my body shuts down at 3pm for scheduled maintenance. This can only be accomplished through caffeine and chocolate; today, I have neither. 

I am sure there is more, but those are the first things that WB is missing out on chatting with me about this afternoon. Guess I am going to go get some water and pray that the next couple of hours pass quickly. Hope your afternoon is fabulous!

Contraband 101

Last night, I had a much needed night out with a girlfriend. We had a blast! And, thankfully, I am not hung-over this morning. See, miracles do exist.

Being that that I really do not like beer, I wanted something different to drink. We opted for sneaking in our own liquor. I know, this is not one of my shining mommy moments, so don’t tell the other PTA moms.

We learned a few things last night that I thought were worth sharing.
1. Everything is overpriced at the civic centers. We all know that. But, where people were paying $7-$9 for a beer, my drinks were around $5 each. My airport bottles were $2 each and sodas were $3 for a medium (roughly 16oz)
2. The key to bringing drinks in is to get past security. My purse had two pockets that are hard to see on the front of the bag because of its print. My friend put hers in the zipper pouch inside hers.
3. Get plastic bottles. Unfortunately, this was not an option for what I chose. Why is this important? One of my bottles shattered inside my purse. I discovered it when I noticed the purse was dripping and then cut myself on the broken glass.
4. Go incognito. Wait until the lights go down to mix your drink; you never know who is watching and do not want to get thrown out. We had families on either side of us and did not want an angry mama confrontation.
5. Of course, it goes without saying, but do not drink and drive. Have a plan for if you do go a little overboard. We walked ours off as we went to a local bar for the after party and from there walked to get food and back to my friend’s apartment. Now, I just have to find a ride to go pick up my car….

Really, the most important lesson of the night is one we call should remember. It does a person some good to let loose now and then. I cannot wait until our next night out!

Loving an Elevator

http://www.cdandlp.com/item/2/29644-110407-0-1-0/115480946/aerosmith-love-in-an-elevator-young-lust.html

Riding in the car this afternoon, I got quite the earful from the teen. She had been home about an hour when I picked her up, but she was in rare form.

I enjoy my car rides with the kid. We enjoy singing loudly off key and dancing to whatever song is on. However, we rarely can start the ride without a fight over the radio station.

As I mentioned before, my child was in rare form. She was particularly pushy about the station. So, I fought her on it and I won. We were listening to a local rock station and I was singing alone to Aerosmith’s Love in an Elevator.

Now, I consider my kids to be fairly well rounded. Especially when it comes to music, but, apparently, I need to educate them more on rock because my daughter started laughing as I sang the song. Between the giggles, she asked, “Why do you love an elevator?”

I explained the lyrics which, obviously, made more sense. From there, we moved to another station. Maybe it is better if we stick with Bruno Mars, our local pop station, or country outlets from now on.

Life With A Hunter

At the beginning of each fall, it begins.  Every conversation turns to hunting.  It starts out being about guns or bows.  As the season creeps closer, they become more frequent.  Does he have the clothes? Will he need more ammo? Who will he hunt with? When can he hunt?  What will the weather be?  Hunting, hunting, hunting. Argh.

I do understand hunting as the means to getting food and on occasion we do; we have venison in our freezer currently.  But it seems to me that the amount of effort that goes into the sport really does not give a good return on investment.

Just this morning, he was up at 4am to hunt with a friend.  He returned home empty handed.  He did, however, have a great story about a friend shooting off the head of a squirrel.  Let me tell you, I was awful impressed with that tidbit (I hope you can sense my intense sarcasm).

There are a few perks to being in a relationship with a hunter. Some trips do bring home meat which saves us money on groceries.  He generally keeps his mouth shut about my purchases seeing as he will gladly spend an insane amount on hunting gear. And, I have three to four months a year where my weekends are my own, at least in good weather.

Like I said before, I really don’t get the appeal for hunting.  But I figure, we are probably even.  He has put up with ridiculously long shopping trips, crafting projects taking over the house, and lots of fun nights with my girlfriends. I guess I can deal with a few headless squirrel stories, at least for a couple more months.